Today I wanted this blog of revealing my “journey from error to heir” to end. I have exposed enough. My dad use to tell me, “Good grief Earn, you don’t have to tell everything!” But, if I’m going to step into truth it has to be all of it. I awoke in the middle of the night and my first thought was that I will be introducing myself again as: “Hi, my name is Earnie. I’m a grateful believer in Jesus Christ who struggles with homosexuality.” I was in all kinds of bondage just like I was a week ago. This time the bondage was the fear that people would want to know what this struggle was like and I would have to tell them. It is not as though I haven’t written my autobiography and written this blog for a couple of years. It was more like I was starting all over again. I would be judged and cast out.
This morning as I had my devotional time with God He reminded me that His healing comes from exposing. We have to open the wound in order for it to heal. He also reminded me that telling the world is not the step. That is what Satan wants me to believe. Telling the right person/people who will shed the Light of Jesus on it is the right step for my personal, ongoing healing.
When I was starting Celebrate Recovery 10 years ago I felt like I had the abuse of my past to fall back onto. I was a victim of it so it was my fall guy. Now that I’ve been able to find much healing from this my personal pride wants to stop me from going any further. I want to tell myself what dad use to say: “Good grief Earn, you don’t have to tell everything!” Yet, if I don’t tell I still carry the bondage. So, today I’m going to introduce myself again as I did a week ago when I stood before our Celebrate Recovery group. As I need to reveal for the sake of healing, I will disclose what the struggle entails. This is not only for my healing but also to help others find their own. God is the Master Healer through His Son Jesus Christ. I don’t ever want to lose sight of this and the miraculous power in these steps.