God is always working and the more I get to know Him the more I see this. I can’t get over how much He is aligning all of each day so I see Him in each aspect of it. It daily starts with my devotions. Right now my devotional is focusing on how well we know Jesus. If we know Him as our Savior, that’s the first step. Getting to know Him as our Lord, our Friend, our Great Healer, our Guide, our Rock, our Protector, our Leader and more, takes confidence called Faith/Trust. The more I’m learning to put all things into His Hands, the more I am realizing just how much He cares and how thorough His Caring is. Even more than this, it is also how He carefully and gently uses all of the tragic parts of our lives for His purposes.

Yesterday a young man called me troubled by some things which have gone sour in his life. He was wanting to know my thoughts. As we talked and he began to see how God was working in what he called “sour” he started to see that maybe God was using this time to show him his need to better rely on God rather than on himself. Relying on God was to trust Him with the present situation. Being patient in times of turmoil is never easy for any of us, yet it is always worthwhile in the end.

Someday when I get to see Jesus, God my Father and The Holy Spirit face to face, I will never stop thanking them for their relentless love and pursuit for each one of us! How I LOVE THEM!

Yesterday was an amazing day. The counseling sessions went well, but even more was last night’s Celebrate Recovery meeting. There were 3 new men who came and I was the one to spend the last hour with them in what we call the 101. This is the introduction to CR and all that it can offer someone. The last part of the hour is spent with the leader sharing briefly their story and asking the newcomer/s to share what brought them that night to the degree they are willing. My goodness, all three of them opened up and we were there beyond the hour. All three had intense stories very different from each other, but all seeking help coming out of their powerlessness (lesson 2) and hiding the problem as though it didn’t exist (lesson 1). I pray they will stay committed to this. It is so easy to step back into “I can do this on my own–I don’t need to share my burdens with the world and then reap the consequences of its judgment”. I sure know this for I practiced it for almost 60 years.

I am reading a book I ordered when I was with the kids in Oklahoma. My son-in-law told me he was going to be using it for the content of his Sunday School class he teaches. The book’s title is, What’s so Spiritual About Your Gifts? It is written by Henry and Mel Blackaby. I’ve read many of their works and I respect them a great deal. What was a big awakening for me is the statement made early in the book. It says, “Believers often ask each other what their spiritual gift is. The true answer to that question is this: The Holy Spirit is the gift.” We so often talk about the fruits of the Spirit being the gift/s. However, the true gift is God’s Holy Spirit Himself. The fruit is the manifestation of God’s Spirit within us. It is God’s Gift to us at work in us as we obey His nudges. It is a simple, yet profound truth which I want to spend more time awakening to.

God is never done growing us. I will never be too old to be a student of the Greatest Teacher!

Today is my oldest grandson’s birthday. He is living his life for Jesus Christ and how proud this makes grandpa! He is flying in next Tuesday and it will be such a treat to have him with us for a few days.

I hadn’t expected that being gone from the counseling work for a couple of weeks would “lighten the load” as it did. All of a sudden this week and having a couple of full days with counseling, I sense the tension that I hadn’t noticed before. This morning as I was journaling I simply needed to release this to Jesus. He has truly been working with me on better trusting of our relationship and how deeply He wants to always be the wisdom of counsel. I want this too, but I do find myself responding to a counselee and saying that what I am telling you is just from me. I need to sense Jesus voice in this before you act on it. Learning to hear the voice of God’s Holy Spirit within is critical. My own emotional response can easily cloud this Voice and I sure don’t want that happening.

It has taken me a lifetime to understand what to do with God’s desire for this close relationship. For so long I would sort through what I thought God was doing or asking me to do as though He would lead me into turmoil. Boy, was I ever wrong! The trustworthiness of God is IMMENSE and I want to always be a trusting son. HE is so WORTHY!

Yesterday was my re-entry into the counseling appointments. I had two new counselees starting so the day was continuous once the appointments began. God just never stops showing me why He had this ministry started. What an honor and privilege it is to invest time in it.

I’ve written about talking to my ex-wife about her now attending a Celebrate Recovery where she lives. My daughters had told me of this ahead of the recent trip. I talked with her a couple of times while we were at our daughter’s home. This past Sunday when the kids and grandkids were here for Mother’s Day, I told my oldest daughter about conversing with her mom regarding the CR attending. She wanted to know how that went but there were too many listening ears so I just said we could talk when it was private. This morning early the conversation took place.

I have been on my journey long enough that the bitterness I held towards my dad has dwindled significantly. So, when I heard my daughter’s comments this morning about her mom, I was alarmed at first, but very quickly I remembered where I was at my daughter’s stage of life. I can’t fathom what I’d done if my father had sought help for himself and tried to make amends with me when I was younger. But, I heard from my daughter just what I fear I would have said. Today, I know how God works us through all of our bitterness so that we can eventually let it go and let it be replaced with a joy and understanding. I know God will do this for my daughter. I pray the hurt can dissipate soon for she is in her own counseling.

God never wastes a hurt and I pray for this to be the outcome once again.

I have known that God is all-knowing all of my life. This is one thing. But, when a day like yesterday takes place and I see how this All-Knowing God orchestrates the day, I just have to stop and marvel at it.

The day began with little planned. But, within an hour there were several things to do because of texts and phone calls that came. What I didn’t know was the effects of these. One text came from my prayer warrior Lois. She needed a couple plants from a nursery (if I had time to get them). Well, who wouldn’t have time for a nursery visit if you love gardening like I do! As soon as the nursery was open I was walking in and purchased the request. At noon time I received a phone call from one of the counseling clients Lois specifically prays for each day. He had stumbled and needed to talk about it. As I was at Lois’ place delivering the flowers she wanted, I told her about the stumble and the need for her prayers. I also told her about what God had shown me that I’d blogged about yesterday. I then asked if she needed help planting what I’d brought? She said, she was going to plant her bean seeds after I left. I asked if I could do that for her?

The area of bean planting was small but needed spading which I know a lot about. So once that was done I planted the beans. All of this only took about 30 minutes since the area was small but not so small for a 92 year old lady. When I went back in the house, Lois was almost in tears of joy. She said I had made her day and she offered a “million thanks”. She added that I was her “best adopted son” so I told her she was best adopted mom and that was my Mother’s Day gift.

Well, God’s all-knowing ways completed some good deeds I’d never known to do, but He did!

Yesterday was a nice Mother’s Day for Kathy. We did have a houseful but Kathy had little responsibility which made the day less taxing for her. No one stayed too long either which allowed her to rest following the get-together. God is GOOD!

As I was journaling this morning I was lamenting about my sinfulness. I know we all have sin nature. There is no getting around this. As I finished my lament and asked Jesus what He wanted me to know from Him for today, I heard this: “My sins, Oh the bliss of this glorious thought. My sins not in part but the whole, are nailed to the Cross and I bear them no more. Praise the Lord, Praise the Lord, Oh my soul!” (3rd verse of the hymn, “It Is Well”). He went on to remind me of the picture I saw in my mind several years ago when I had heard my young self’s voice while in therapy. As I journaled the day following this event I was thanking Jesus for letting me hear “little Earnie’s voice and laughter”. At that point I saw this little guy standing on a dirt path leading away from a green pasture with a barbed wire fence between it and me. This morning Christ let me know that I am to let go of thinking my sinfulness is still attached to that past of mine. It is a nature we all contend with. He has brought me full circle and I am now at the green pasture of freedom which has no barbed fence I must climb over or cut through. The pasture is there for me to walk into. He called it FREEDOM.

It is amazing to me that I can know something for so long and still not believe it fully. I love Jesus and how thorough He is in helping us one day at a time to become more and more free to live for Him fully without bondage. How I LOVE HIM!

Happy Mother’s Day! My mom was a woman of silent strength. I don’t care how strong dad was in the flesh, it was the inner strength of mom that sustained all of us kids and modeled for us how to withstand under the pressures of living. I will always love mom for this.

My continued growth is not ending. Today Jesus was telling me it is time for me to stop questioning the strength of His and my spirit within me. The only way we can fully overcome the power of the flesh is surrendering the flesh, but, after that, one has to find strength to replace it. That strength is found when we quit fighting using our mental strength and listen closely to the voice of our spirit which is called intuition. Our spirit is housed in God’s Holy Spirit. He is the Strength of God Himself. But, His Voice is tender so that we have to choose to listen. Disciplining myself to listen closely throughout the day and following the message given is critical.

I’m good at doing this as the day begins and I want to continue growing in my listening as the day continues. I suppose I’m better than I use to be for Jesus has been working with me on this for quite some time. As I write this I also suppose I’ll be working on this the rest of my days of flesh. Irregardless, I never want to stop growing in my walk with God and growing in my trusting Him completely in every aspect of every day!

Yesterday was a remarkably good day. The garden is all planted, weeds are sprayed, watering is done, 25 extra tomato plants all have homes, and the counseling session went well. No matter how much I fret it never helps, yet I do it and then wish I could get rid of fretting once and for all. Must be part of my flesh!

I was journaling this morning and thanking God for His abundant blessings and I got to my weaknesses. When I asked Jesus what He wanted me to know from Him for today He reminded me to not only hear His Voice, but to obey it. I have this written at the top of my prayer list, but during the day it is easily forgotten. I might hear a nudge, but it is so easy to forego it and do what I want. I stopped journaling His message to me and responded to it but He nudged me to listen more. He went on to say He has work for me to do and He wants me to share His abundant Grace with others just as He has given to me. When I heard this I knew why He hadn’t wanted me to stop listening when I was about to.

So many folks say they don’t know how to hear God’s Voice. For me, it was more about believing God would speak to someone like me so even though I would sense a nudge I’d ignore it. Helping others not only believe they are spoken to by God, but also obeying His message is critical to understanding His Mercy and Grace. So many of His messages are assurances of His Love as well as steps He wants us to take or to not take. It just starts with believing He speaks.

By the end of today the entire garden should be planted with the exception of the later plantings of corn. I’m sure any reader is glad to know this!

It was really good to be back to Celebrate Recovery last night and reconnect with the folks there. Last week I was told we had an individual who gave their heart to God at the end of the evening. Another man who had come for his first time came again last night. His story is sad, but he is wanting to turn his actions around and save his marriage. I do love witnessing these times. God is faithful and true all the time. Later today I meet with one of the young men I counsel. He has had some tremendous breakthroughs in the past two weeks we’ve been gone. I’m eager to hear what is transpiring in his life.

I am certainly far from being totally free of my past. I suppose there will always be some lingering issues that Satan will try to use against me. But, I say for sure, God is faithful and true, He will be the one to stand up to this enemy of yours and mine. How I love our Heavenly Father!

Well, yesterday is gone and I didn’t get to my blog to make an entry. My apologies. We left quite early yesterday morning from OKC and got home without a hitch. The weather here was rainy last weekend so the lawn didn’t get mowed by my son-in-law so I got right onto it when I was unpacked. My grandson had done a marvelous job keeping everything watered for me. The yard was in great shape. Now that we are back and everything is good I wonder why I struggled so much to be gone 2 weeks? It is a good learning experience for grandpa! I can trust even my yard in springtime to the care of a grandson.

Getting back into the routine of home is going to take a day or two. I can’t even keep straight in my head which day it is. It feels like a weekend but it sure isn’t. I know that living out the day will take care of this. I want to write a moment on our last day in OK. My ex was staying until today so I had a longer opportunity to talk with her about her own recovery and facing her past. So much of her childhood was riddled with abuse as with my own. Hers was by her grandpa. Even though her mom was aware because her own abuse, she never stepped in to protect or even talk for the sake of her only child. (So common with abuse victims). I told her about the 3-R’s (recognize, reject and replace) from the book, I Give You Authority . She is ordering it.

It is amazing to me to see all of this taking place. My ex and I married 52 years ago and now 45 years later, she is getting her own help. God just never quits giving us the freedom He had intended for us to have all along. We just need to face the past with His help and with the help of faithful friends He brings into our lives. How good our Father is!