For almost 10 years I would daily write an entry into this journey God has given me. Now I only add one when I sense that nudge from HIm. Today is one of those days. A couple of weeks ago my prayer warrior Lois gave me a book of hers. The title is The Daily Decree by Brenda Kunneman. She wanted me to know from this book how many decrees she has prayed for me over the almost 20 years she has been my prayer warrior. She is now 95 years old.

The one decree that just makes me weep each time I read it is “No More Shame”. This is the message: We decree that the shame and reproach of your youth is driven from you in the Name of Jesus. We say that all manner of shame from a past season is broken off your life. May your years of youthful foolishness and immaturity be forgotten and replaced by a new season of prudence and wisdom. We say you come into your full age of maturity in the spirit. May those around you see the thoughtfulness and sensibility that rests upon you in ths new season. We speak that an anointing comes upon you to provide wisdom and admonishment to others in their personal journey of growth. We speak that people, places and circumstances shall not bring you into the condemnation of a former season of immaturity. May nothing remind you of what used to be and may you only think of where God is bringing you. We prophesy that the shame of your youth is broken and shall never return to you again!

To now realize this decree was prayed over me years ago, and to now live the freedom of no more shame is one of the most humbling and rewarding things I’ve ever experienced in my life. Today’s opportunities to work with struggling individuals is living this freedom and experiencing the truth of this decree. God is nothing but AMAZING and I will forever be a grateful son!

Last night our Celebrate Recovery group went to see the new movie: “I Can Only Imagine II”. It is so very worth seeing! At the concluding part of the movie I was doing my best to hold back wrenching sobs. It brought back such sad memories of my own childhood. I was focused very much on the darkness of this past of mine. I told God that I likely needed to go to the new Grief-Share class our church is having presently so I could actually grieve this childhood I’ve had so much counsel to overcome. On the drive home I told God I’d journal this morning about all of this and seek His Will.

This morning as I began to journal I was led to start the journaling thanking God for inspiring the movie to be written and produced. But then, I was led into a different path than I’d expected. It was a path of thanksgiving. God began to bring to mind all of the ones He had given me throughout my childhood to give me love, nuture and support. Then He led me into my early adult years who did the same. Once I was done with this He kept going taking me into my middle adult years and then these current years. By the time I was done I had journaled three pages of thanksgiving.

God showed me that I didn’t need to grieve any longer. These memories of my past I’ve grieved long enough. What He wanted me to now do is celebrate the victories He’s given to me and all of the ones who helped me find them. So the morning turned into this glorious celebration of tears and gratitude! As I was finishing the journal entry He pointed out one more thing: “Don’t let anyone finish their counselling season with you until you’ve helped them find their own celebration of God in their lives. Help them see how God has helped them to not only address why they’ve come, but how He also had provided support along the way which wasn’t seen until the darkness of their past/present was removed and now replaced with God’s Glorious Light! This I look forward to doing!

Today I am nudged to add a post to my journey’s blog. I went to bed last night discouraged and asked Jesus to help me understand what is behind it. There have been times of disappointment in my life, but this present sadness wanted to linger. Quite early this morning I awoke to hearing a message. This is what I want to pass along to any reader:

Two weeks ago last Sunday I received a phone message from a gal who use to live here. She and her husband were part of our Celebrate Recovery. She had found recovery and over time her husband did too. They were deeply involved in the leadership and helped many people throughout their time with us. They moved away to be closer to their own two kids who were married and one had their first grandchild. The husband, being back in his old turf, had returned over time to his old addictive habits. He was now living alone having been asked to leave and to find sobriety. This is what I heard from the phone call. I reached out to him and got one long text from him. We set a time for a phone call which never took place. He just wouldn’t answer. This man had become a dear friend and I didn’t want to give up on what I “knew” God wanted me to do. After two weeks it became obvious my plan wasn’t going to materialize. I was so sad “knowing it was the path to this man’s restoration”.

As I awoke this morning, I heard Jesus voice telling me to let Him take this. I had quickly taken the plan and made it my purpose. I didn’t intend to overstep my bounds, but I do get overly eager when things like this occur. I know God’s timing is often not mine and I also know to let Him have His way. (I was overly wanting my way for this). As I journaled this morning I needed to confess and regroup. My trust is restored and regrounded in Christ alone. Satan tried to take this disappointment and tie it to all the disappointing times of my earlier years when my trust was almost gone. Well, he is once again the deceiver and Christ is Victorious!