Today is one where I have a stomach full of angst.  April is child abuse prevention month.  I was contacted yesterday by a representative from our Channel 2, KBOI, to do a brief interview about my passion for this topic of abuse.  I am meeting with the representative this morning so I’ve been pondering and scribbling notes about what wisdom God is placing on my heart to share or to have shared.  I reread what I had posted yesterday in the blog and the first thing that screamed at me is–abuse breaks the relationship God intends for us to have with others.  It destroys the trust.  It also places within the victim many false ideas about who they are as an individual–their identity.  I talk about this in my book.  In fact it is the reason the title is what it is–The Journey From Error to Heir.  The old me was an error all in caps–ERROR.  I felt this way particularly with dad and I sure felt that society would think me an error if they knew of my sexual abuse.  God has been very diligent helping me find the truth about being His heir.

How does one say in 3-4 minutes what God would want people to hear?  I already hear Him telling me that this is a big trusting moment.  I need to trust that He will set the stage for this and He will guide the questions as well as my responses for they will be the wisdom His Spirit gives me to share.  This takes some of the angst away.

There is one other thing I want to share this morning.  When I was having my devotions earlier, full of anxiety for today, I asked God what He wanted me to know.  It was quite remarkable, at least to me.  He said, “I want you to see today as simply an assignment for today.  This event is something that will simply happen today.  It is not an end of the journey.  It is just an assignment along the path of the journey.”

All my life I have lived hoping to complete some major thing that will end my identity crisis–I will now be worthwhile.  (This goes back to my personal identity belief).  An “error” thinks this way, not an “heir”.  I want to learn this well so that I live more and more as an heir of Christ, completing each day the assignments given to me.