It is as though my journey has me paused at a spiritual schoolhouse.  It is right in the middle of my path and the door into it is fully open.  Last night as our step study for Celebrate Recovery started, my co-leader had us open to Proverbs 1:7 which reads, The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline. At some point in my past scripture reading I’d put the statement by the word fear–“hold God in reverence” as the definition of fear.  Our group talked for a moment about how fools despise God’s wisdom.  I noticed I’d also marked in chapter 2 of Proverbs its description of moral benefits of wisdom.  It says in vs 10 that “wisdom will enter your heart and knowledge will enter your soul.”  It says also in vs’s 1&2 My son, if you accept my words and store up my commands within you, turning your ear to wisdom and applying your heart to understanding….”  All of a sudden the connections between wisdom and heart were popping out.  God’s Holy Spirit gives wisdom but it comes through my heart because that’s the home of His Spirit within me.  Man places wisdom as a mind item and I was one who did this with much intent.  God is awakening in me my personal need to grow more fully in the spiritual realm not my mindful one.

When I was growing up (I mention this in my book) my dad would say he needed to kill that spirit within me.  He did a good job damaging it and so I spent my time growing my mind thinking that was the right thing–he couldn’t get to that part of me.  The character defect that grew out of this behavior pattern was my lack of attention to growing my spiritual living in my heart rather than my mindful living.  I had this awful thinking that my heart was only my home for all emotions.  I had narrowed my belief about spirit and heart to only being emotions.  My dad was full of raging emotions and no way did I want any of that for me.  Maybe all of us struggle with this to some degree.  Right now it is like I’m moving into a foreign land as I desire to learn about my heart and spirit living and I don’t know the language or where I’m to reside while I’m here.  However, I know God is wanting me to stay put and let His Holy Spirit grow me in “spirit and truth”.

If I have neighbors here, I’d sure like to meet you and talk through your journey into this land of spiritual heart living.  It’s now I wish my grandma Wreting were alive.  She was truly one who lived each day in God’s Spirit.