Yesterday had me sitting in the schoolhouse receiving my lesson on spirit-controlled living.  In reality of the day it was more about spirit-controlled hearing a lesson for the first time fully awake to the fact that I have The Holy Spirit within me waiting to take the controls if I will just let Him.  The conceptual side of spirit-filled living sounds so wonderful.  I have always wanted this.  Now that I’m fully awake to the need for this in my life I find myself wanting to dig my heals in just a little.  My human side is at risk somehow, it seems.  As I’ve actually lived through yesterday I found myself tormented at times with my selfishness.  I have been bringing this to God this morning for His clarity.  The first thing I read was I John 2:1 stating:  My dear children, I am writing this to you so that you will not sin.  But if anyone does sin, we have an advocate who pleads our case before the Father.  He is Jesus Christ, the one who is truly righteous.  My devotional went on to say that “The Father understands that you are not going to be a perfect Christian.  You will falter and fail, but He will not forsake or abandon you.  His grace is sufficient for you–each and every day!”

It is at this time in my life I wish I could talk with my Grandma Wreting, Elijah or someone else who lived by the Spirit’s indwelling and seemed so obedient to this lifestyle.  I wonder if they had this same struggle?  If so, how did they deal with it and learn to surrender that willful tendency of our human nature when it is in conflict with what one knows is  The Spirit’s leading?  What I do know is that there is no other way I want to live.  I never again want to willfully live my life.  The new creation Christ gave me is for Spirit-filled living.  I want to be on track with this new lifestyle.  I know I’m not so young anymore–I turn 66 in just a couple weeks.  However, I feel like a child in this new and improved way of living.  I don’t want old age stubbornness clicking in now.  I want someday to hear, “Well done good and faithful servant.”  I’m staying on this track one day at a time and hopefully learn well the steps to Spirit-filled obedience.