Today’s journey has me facing some things that God needed to talk to me about early this morning before heading into them.  I was asked a few days ago to facilitate a meeting between a father and son who are both adults.  Each one struggles with an anger issue that got the best of them with each other and now they want to address the original issue with someone who can help them actually face the problem and reach a conclusion that honors God.  I feel honored that I was chosen.  This takes place later this morning. The second thing today is a family celebration for my brother-in-law’s birthday who was married to my oldest sis.  He is remarried now so the celebration is for his 85th birthday and their 10th anniversary.  There I will see family who are hurting deeply from recent tragedies.

Every since my grand nephew drowned and my nephew-in-law was diagnosed with cancer I’ve wanted to “rescue” them–give them/their families hope.  As I meet with the father and son I want them to love and respect one another in a new way resulting from the meeting.  This morning as I have been having my devotions God has been speaking to me about my motives.  I came face to face with a reality I didn’t like so much.  Of course I want the hope given to them and to anyone to be Jesus.  However, God was pointing out that I also wanted to glean some value from this.  He was bringing me back to that character defect within me–that deep seated need I have to be worthwhile.  He was reminding me to “be” his servant today before I step into  “doing” his work today.  This really jolted me into a reality I needed to face.  I didn’t take this as a punishment but as a light clicking on.  I am awakening to the fact that Jesus and His Holy Spirit are all about Light for today’s living.  I truly want my value to be from Jesus Christ and not from something man would give me.  The childhood longings to be of value to dad are fading, but they still get used by a deceptive Satan if I’m not fully cognizant to it.  It has helped to write this out too.  It grounds it deeper into my being and my intent for the day.

God is an amazing God–the one and only True God.  In pleasing Him there is a resulting humbleness that feels very peaceful.  In working to please man there is a resulting ego boost that feels vulnerable as I have to keep repeating the “value thing” to stay there.  I sure want to be much more awake to this reality in my journey ahead and live in the peace of humble surrender to my Loving God.