This morning as I wrote today’s date I realized it is the anniversary of my first marriage.  Today, it would have been 44 years.  However, that is all in the past.  I started to lament a moment and then I was quickly reminded by my Heavenly Father that my life has moved on and I should too.  My scripture reading in Proverbs had stated that praise and thanksgiving are due to God our Father.  My lamenting didn’t include any praise and it would have taken me down a path that led once again to guilt and shame which I now recognize as Satan’s tools in moments like this and not God’s.  I thank God ever so much for His abundant mercy and patience over these years.  It has been 37 years since that divorce and I am a new creation today–thank you Father.

Last night was our weekly step study.  The lesson was about the purposes of daily journaling in order to recognize the good and bad of a day and to make quick amends when things were pointed out as bad.  We were to respond to  a question about what a particular verse meant to us and how it can help us.  The verse is Mark 14:38:  “Watch with me and pray lest the Tempter overpower you.  For though the spirit is willing enough, the body is weak.”  My response to this verse has always been that this verse is a nemesis to me.  I have never been good at knowing the power of God during intense temptation.  This question was followed by the next question which is:  “What is your daily action plan for Step 10?”  It was here that I told the group about my recent journaling to God the Father rather than to Jesus His Son.  I opened up regarding how much God was showing me about His desire to have the intimacy with me I longed for.  Also, that the power to address the temptation in Mark 14: 38 was tied to this Almighty God that I avoided due to so many character defects in thinking about who I thought I was to God relating to what I’ve said earlier about God and dad.  I was feeling rather stupid and vulnerable telling all this to the guys.  What I wasn’t expecting was their outburst of recognition from their own relationships with Him.  Almost everyone began to open up about this.  One guy just broke down and left for the restroom to gain his composure.  I know his story and it is truly painful.  This Almighty God of ours is breaking down walls and destroying the chains that bind.  How grateful I am for this! He assures me that His Power is the one true power which overcomes the power to the tempter.  I’m anchoring into this.