Today’s journey has a new creation writing it.  That makes me smile just typing this message into script.  The difference in today’s writing of it and in previous writing is that “hope” for this being true is replaced with “assurance” that it is done.  Maybe what I’m about to write here has never been confusing for you, but I’ve spent my entire life wishing beyond hope that someday I could be complete in God.  Well, the other night when I heard that the throne of my life is my amygdala (limbic portion of our brain) I just wanted to throw in the towel.  How in the world could the throne of God’s Son be in such a place?  It didn’t seem special at all and Christ’s throne should be something spectacular–right?  Well, wrong.  All day yesterday and last night I’ve been pondering this as true and God has done nothing more than reassure its validity.  In the amygdala of our brain lies our total security.  Our reflexes, instincts, emotions are all triggered from this part.  When God created us originally we had full assurance of our security because He was there on the throne–our anchor in any strife.  Yet, He gave man a choice.  Adam and Eve replaced Him on their throne with themselves by choice.  I’m sure they didn’t know their consequences like we now do, but nonetheless, it is true.  We as man need to choose to place him there removing ourselves from this ownership.

I’ve hated and loved emotions my whole life.  Emotions were what dad didn’t handle.  They triggered him to beat us, tear down any sense of accomplishment we might have had in childhood, and more.  All this left my developing mind thinking I must do it on my own.  This has been the root cause of my insecurities.  Coupled with this, my brother’s sexual use added to the lack of manliness I felt.  Now, however, I’ve finally found the throne for Christ and it is just where God wants it–the core of my belief system.  The only thing I was right about was that this core is not spectacular.  What makes it spectacular is Christ being there.  Nothing earthly was spectacular about Christ.  He Himself was the spectacular.  He came to bring this to you and me.  Wow, I feel as though I’ve discovered the most precious gift of all–I guess I have too.  He was already there waiting for me to finally catch on to what He had done and where He did it.

By the way, I installed that crazy control box myself yesterday in less than an hour and had each zone tested.  The anxiety  was gone and I just followed the directions.  Seems so simple, yet this one act allowed me to be confirmed that Earnie is now OK.  I won’t be without battle in the future, but I do have an assurance I’ve not known rooted deeply within me.  My beliefs of old have now been erased and replaced.  They are not forgotten for I will celebrate this the rest of my human life.  I do hope this entry makes sense for you.