Wouldn’t you know that the day following the one where I expressed my struggles facing issues that I can’t control or facing temptations that haunt me, I’d have a devotional time which squarely addresses it.  When Satan attacks he wants to “kill, steal and destroy every good that God has in mind”.  For the first time this morning I see that his goal isn’t to kill, steal and destroy what God has in mind solely for me, His ultimate goal is to show God he has control of His creation–you and me.  I am nothing but a pawn to him.  His deception doesn’t want me to realize this, but the evidence of the truth which sets us free tells a different story.

God wants total surrender from me.  The evidence of this full surrender is the fruit of the Spirit:  love, joy, peace, patience, long suffering, gentleness and self-control.  In these we find true joy.  When we step into a selfish act we find joy missing.  Yesterday was a day where the joy could have been easily missed, but God had a different plan, He wanted me to know from yesterday that joy is found from obedience to Him.  He is such an amazing God as well as friend.  How I want to continue to awaken to His Ways for me.

Today is the 3 hour dress rehearsal for tomorrow’s choir musical at church.  My guts ache as I write this just from the sheer knowing I will have to do it without script in front of me.  I only sing throughout but memorizing has always been one of those nemeses for me.  It is one of those which makes me want to flee and never sing in something like this again–ever.  Then I look at those characteristics given from obedience:  love joy, peace…. and compare them to what Satan wants:  kill, steal and destroy what good God has in mind.  I quickly see who I’d be succumbing to if I fled.  My trust is in my God and my obedience is to Him.  How I love our Father.