Today is truly part II of yesterday’s blog.  I didn’t know at this time yesterday that the temptations of the previous night weren’t finished.  Throughout the day I had the lingering questions and suppressed anxiety that the thoughts of inability were still me.  By the middle of the afternoon I’d talked about this with Kathy but the struggle was increasing instead of diminishing.  Last night was the beginning of the men’s study called 7 Pillars.  It is the in-depth study for those struggling with sexual addiction.  It follows the Conquer series.  We guys have a close relationship so I was able to tell them about the day’s struggle because it was by then turning into sexual temptations.  I was reminded by the leader that Satan’s deceptions are real.  I know this very real truth, but I needed to hear it from the outside–my inside was spiraling.  It helped to anchor me.

This morning as I took my book: The Nature of Freedom: I was to tell God what I’m most excited about when moving into the freedom of the new creation.  I told Him about yesterday (as though He didn’t know) and how I really longed to get much better acquainted with The Holy Spirit.  Over the past several months I’d found myself truly getting to know Him, God, and His Son Jesus much more intimately.  I don’t have substance for The Holy Spirit and He seems so mysterious.  My Bible reading was in I Timothy 1-3 where Paul is outlining for Timothy about leadership and how a leader is to live.  I could see much more plainly how living this way was possible when you are living as a new creation.  I have always struggled in my mind with this, knowing I “was a hypocrite”.  My living might look good but I was the one who wasn’t good.

As I finished the bible reading I went to my own journal where I was able to tell God how much I did wish to know His Holy Spirit like I did Him.  The struggle of yesterday had been haunting for me.  As I asked Him what He wanted me to know from Him this day, He told me, “Earnie, a might lesson was held yesterday.  You struggled, you stepped, I intervened, you confessed the struggle and I have shed Light.  Who did you see–My Holy Spirit.  He is the Light that allows you to now see the difference between the past weeks when you lived in peace as the new creation and the anxiety that comes when you are tempted to move back into the old self which is dead.  Now that you have seen this clearly for the first time you can leave the battle with us, for it is ours to fight–which by the way–We’ve already destroyed with our Light.  The lingering fears and moments are the evil attempts to sway you.  Be strong in US–your TEAM (God, Jesus, Holy Spirit).

What was amazing was that I could now see the difference between living the old life I’ve always struggled with and living in the new creation I’d experienced the past few weeks.  I was also able to see how Satan was trying to re-establish himself on the throne of Grace where Christ resides and where The Holy Spirit has cleansed.  So much of this truth lies in what I am learning to believe about God and me.  I am truly a child of the King in the new creation.  The struggle has always been trying to live as a child of the King in the old self. I’ll be better prepared for the next attack.  Our God is amazing!  Lets be strong in the LORD GOD ALMIGHTY.