It is the morning after.  It is the morning after I gave my testimony to our Celebrate Recovery group.  I just finished my devotions and journaling with God.  I feel so humble and grateful for all that God has done for me.  When I first gave my testimony 8-9 years ago, I was so anxious I can only remember starting it and meeting with the small group of men following it.  I can’t recall actually giving it.  It took days to get my emotions stabilized following this.  This morning it is so different.  Instead of trying to second guess the listeners and trying to determine who I offended, I thank God for the intimate love He has given me working through all the torment of the past.  There was one young man in the crowd last night who is also in my small group.  He is a senior in high school.  He spoke about how Satan torments him making him feel meaningless and helpless.  But, he was really encouraged listening to my story.  He wants to be able to help others like I am today.  I was so touched by this tenderness.  How I’ve longed to do something meaningful for God–to be meaningful to Him.  Here He takes what I thought I had to hide from Him (as though that were possible) and uses it to glorify Himself.  This is Amazing Grace.

The men in our small group opened up last night with details of their individual story that had been unsaid to this point.  They said my bravery to share prompted them to do the same.  This is something I marvel with.  These details are ones I anguish over because they are the details I always knew would keep any friend away and keep a community from wanting me as their children’s principal. Yet, these are the details, now that they are spoken, that God is using to open others locked in their own bondage.  God is amazing and I want to serve Him better and more openly as life moves on.