Last night was the weekly 7-Pillars class.  We were to have written out bullets for a rough draft of our story.  I’ve written and revised a dozen times my story as well as written my book.  However, this draft was to include specifically the points that led us into our sexual addiction.  It caused me a good deal of fear.  By the time I had finished sharing (which was the last one for the evening) I left immediately.  I got home feeling raw, exposed, vulnerable, etc.  I felt like I was the young lad all over again.  This morning as I brought all this to God I was awakened to a reality that hadn’t hit me yet.  God said I was faced again last night with the reality of the raw exposure of sin done to me as well as sin I’d committed.  This wasn’t new, but nonetheless, raw.  The new was when God said that I can be assured that no wrong can come my way that will/can overpower me.  When I wrote the word–overpower–I was awakened.  This is what I’d felt all my life.  It is what fed the fears for any situation with men and even with women.  What would happen if….  The beauty of this awakening was that now I know it is a lie.  I have full capability of stopping any potential attack that would have overpowered me in my early years.  This reality just hadn’t hit me yet.  Boy, do I feel better getting this identified!

God is so good and so thorough.  How much I praise Him for this.