Have you ever had a crisis of belief?  I went through one this weekend.  I will explain.  The Experiencing God study I’m doing talks about a step we must take when God is challenging us to engage with Him in His work.  This step is facing any crisis of belief.  The last couple of weeks in the 7-Pillars class for men with sexual addiction, the readings and activities have thrown the ugliness of the addiction right in my face.  I have dealt with these through the lens of abuse and the impact all of this had on my life.  Now I am attempting to do this through the lens of addiction.  I was truly stuck in this attempt over the weekend.  Yesterday morning I was contemplating dropping out of the 7-Pillars thinking it was wrong for me to reintroduce all of these triggers.

Celebrate Recovery was having its monthly leadership meeting yesterday following church.  I had a guest join us who is a licensed counselor.  She was talking to us about dealing with mental health issues and their impact on individuals and how we support these folks without enabling them.  A comment she made directly related to my dilemma outlined in the first paragraph.  She said that those who have battled with PTSD will have triggers from environmental factors which stay with them and this will cause reactions in their lives outside of the present environment.  I knew immediately this is what was happening to me from the 7-Pillars class.  These classes are nothing but triggers for me of my years of abuse.  The emotions that I feel inside stay with me for days following these classes.  Over the weekend I was thrown back into dealing with them from my old self–the abused self rather than living in the freedom of my new creation in Christ.

This morning as I was able to see the truth of this problem in the light of Jesus Christ’s redeeming work on the cross.  I was able to let this crisis go.  Yes, the 7-Pillars class is a potential threat to me, but I will never be able to stand up against the voices of evil unless I learn to stand against them within me personally.  God tells me to “abide in Him”–John 15:4.  When I do abide in Him I will bear much fruit.  The ministries of Celebrate Recovery, 7-Pillars and more are setting people free.  Along with this, I am continuing to find more freedom myself.  Yes, it is hard work, but it is the best hard work I’ve ever done.  Praise God.