How often have you said you wish there was more time in the day?  Today was to be one of them for me.  Having been gone for a week in the peak of gardening/planting season really brought on my drive to get everything done in ONE DAY.  God reminded me this morning that He has given me each day to do what needs done.  My rush to do is only me.  He is not interested in my rush to do my things.  He is interested in me doing OUR things.  I know He is good with my gardening passion.  He just doesn’t want it diminishing what He wants done specific to the ministry work.  Today has some of that in it and I’d love to neglect it to get my selfish gardening done so I can be selfishly content.  I write this and see just how sad this truth is.

Thee is so much opportunity to serve God when we intentionally look, listen and pray with spiritual purposes.  I don’t want what God shows me to do to be hindered by my selfishness.  I do have time to be gardening in this day.  I’ll simply extend what I could do if I had the whole day into work for two days.  That pleasure of completing what I love to do will be done in two days rather than one.  Half of pleasure in working for me is always about finishing well.  So, I’m telling myself I am not lazy because this work took two days.  I am taking time to do what God wants done also.  I think that pleasure will be far greater in God’s eyes as it is completed.  There is nothing like seeing the smile of God when HIS WORK is done well.  That’s what I truly want to get done today and the rest of my life.

As I got into yesterday’s work I wanted to get accomplished, I was met with more frustration.  I went to my daughter’s home to mow with my grandson to have it start raining just as I arrived.  I told my grandson I’d be back after lunch and headed back home to plant the garden.  I got the rototilling done and was ready to plant but my garden rake was gone.  My oldest grandson had taken it to use at a friend’s house and hadn’t returned it.  I did get the planting done, got the lawn mowed in the afternoon and made it to the party late in the afternoon but still on time.

Today as I was journaling, I thanked God for His help–leadership yesterday.  He said that my grandson needed someone to show him how to tackle an overwhelming project–a lawn 18″ tall and get it mowed.  That is what I had done with him.  I was also needing someone to help me take the steps I needed to take so I could get what I wanted done too.  That is what God did for me.  He said that I had modeled for my grandson what He had modeled for me.  That was a big awakening because that is just what happened.  My grandson said as we finished the mowing that he really loved me.  He had waited too long and didn’t think he could do it.  He said, “Grandpa, you are not only smart, you are a great grandpa.”  Well, that was enough for me!

Today, I told God He was a great Father and I love Him!

Yesterday was a day of garden shopping.  Getting home from California at this time of year had me hopping to get all the plants for the vegetable garden and all the ones for the deck pots.  It took most of the day to get this done.  Today and tomorrow will be filled with planting!  I had called Bonnie to check in with her before leaving the house.  I wanted to see how she was doing but spent most of the conversation hearing how my older sis was doing.  We had taken her to urgent care the day before I left.  She has rebounded well and Bonnie was so pleased.  I then called my brothers here so we could all relax knowing things were better.

By last night I was spent.  The adrenaline of helping was all gone and I had nothing left it seemed.  My grandson called to say he needed help with their lawn as he’d let it get too tall before mowing it.  He’s a good worker when he works with you, but doing work on his own usually doesn’t happen.  Today he and I will get it done so he can take it from there.

This morning I was anxious and disgusted all at the same time and wondered how to get all I needed to do done.  As I got to my journaling I asked God to help me prioritize.  It was funny to hear what I’d be telling anyone who asked me–“take one step at a time”.  Relationships are always first and work will get done.  So, today I’ll start with my grandson and get that done and then I can plant the garden.  Tomorrow I can relax and do the flower pots.  By Monday I’ll be caught up and feel as though I was never behind.  I know all of this sounds trite, at least it does as I write it out.

I thank God for the tools He has taught me through the ministries of help like Celebrate Recovery.  Taking one day at a time, one moment at a time is one of those tools and I need these reminders often.

Today’s journey has me very torn.  Coming home last night was one time of only a few when I’ve gotten home to find myself sad to be here.  I always get home looking forward to getting the yard work caught up, checking on what’s growing in the garden and whats about to bloom in the flower beds.  Seeing the grandkids, reconnecting with the ministry work has always been fun.  Today, all I can do is hurt for those hurting.  God has already informed me that He is not absent from the hurt.  He has shown me that just like He has taught me to rejoice and learn from pain, He will do the same for Bonnie.

There is nothing like death to awaken the critical importance of living for God’s Kingdom purposes while we are here on earth.  We are so easily sucked into the events and activities of the day.  I am not the kind of person that will evangelize the world, but I do know God wants me to be a light of and for His Work.  I know too, to look with the spiritual eyes He has given me to see where He is working and then to join Him.  I do want to be far more awake to this as I live each day for my Lord and Savior–Jesus Christ.

I’m at the San Diego airport waiting to board my plane headed home. It’s been a time of tears, hugs, laughter, dishes to wash and all this repeated several times a day. I’m so glad I was able to come. Randy’s service will be on May 20 so we will return for it. It’s amazing to watch a helpless person gain strength one day st a time with Gods help and love. 

Several break throughs were witnessed in the past week. Even Bonnie’s two sons said they noticed their mom doing better than they’d expected. I know the grieving isn’t over but the process is bringing forth strength not known before because of Gods grace. 

It is nice to be going home but it’s more rewarding to know You have been doing Gods work with Him. 

Today is to be my last day with Bonnie before returning home in the morning. We got a call early and my other sis Alice needed to get to quick care. I went and got her. She suffers from anxiety and was truly suffering. We are at the doctors now and they are taking blood to run tests. I know God is in control. 

Bonnie is doing well. I am too.  Once we get Alice home we have several errands to run to get life insurance processed, etc. this Journey the past week has been difficult but rewarding. God is always good and I praise Him for this. 

This morning I’ve been touched with Gods sensitivity once again.  Bonnie and I plan to tackle some financial items that need to get cleared up so she can know how to move forward with her life. She’s ready to do this today she’s told me.  As I’ve done my own devotions this morning I’ve been touched by Gods guidance.  

 God is truly a family God. His own family is complete in Him–Jesus and The Holy Spirit and He wants us to be a family as we complete each other in Him.  Bonnie’s boys are already showing their strengths in taking roles to help Bonnie–their mom. If I do anything I want to simply assist in this process. 

God models for us how He wants us to live our lives. Getting our selfishness out of the way is so important. Once we do and begin to not only find Gods ways and then begin to risk trusting them, we then start to see how futile our selfish ways were compared to His. God is so Amazing.