This morning as I completed my devotions I had this foreboding sense.  I could not dispel it no matter what I journaled with God or read in devotions or in scripture.  One of the guys called me with accountability.  He was doing well and asked how I was doing.  I told him about this sense.  His words were interesting–“Don’t worry about that.  You and God seem to have a way of working them out.”  I thought it was nice to know that someone else thought that even though I didn’t at the moment.

I went into my lesson I’m working through in the Experiencing God handbook.  Wouldn’t you know it was about  how God speaks to us.  It describes well that my relationship with God is utmost.  In the relationship God teaches me to trust His voice and to act on what His message is.  When the message is not clear, wait.  It is wrong to simply act and hope it is what God wants me to do.  I deeply appreciated God making this clear.  With this the sense of forebode left.

The other thing that has hit me this morning has been from Wednesday night’s Celebrate Recovery lesson.  It ended with the person being quoted saying: “I’ve learned to grieve appropriately.”  This was connected to grieving without running to our addiction and handling our past appropriately.  All of this is rooted in the step we take making amends for wrongs of our past.  My brother Rich and my dad both died long before I had the help of Celebrate Recovery and my last years of therapy/counseling.  At the time of their passing my only grief was the burden I was left with.  Now that the burden is replaced I wish I could tell them what God is doing with “our story”.  I wish I could hug them and let them know I truly have forgiven them.  I know they are aware and someday we will talk face to face.  For that, I am very grateful.  God is always so good.