When Kathy and I came to Wallowa, OR a couple days ago I brought all my devotional materials forgetting that my journal was almost filled.  Yesterday I completed the last blank page.  Today I had thought I’d figure out someway to write my entry.  However, today as I finished my scripture reading I felt nudged to go into the Experiencing God  study I’m doing with Pastor Ryan at church.  I was a day behind so I thought that was the reason for my nudge.  Little did I know how God wanted the study’s relevancy to be known today.  The topic is God answering prayer through circumstances.  I’ve already said how God used last Sunday’s experience to awaken me to not giving my testimony in fear.  What I hadn’t said was that the fear also included promoting my book if someone present would want to buy one.  I had Kathy bring a few copies in case that happened.  However, when I gave my talk I didn’t even mention I’d brought books for fear someone would think I’m only giving my testimony to sell books.

This morning as I was doing my Experiencing God assignments I found myself being fully challenged to not only let my fears go but to then see God’s purpose for writing my book, giving my testimony, our quartet singing and using my testimony as a support of God’s work through the quartet and more.  I’ve been so crippled in holding back rather than simply letting go and letting what God wants to happen–happen.  Little had I seen how selfish my actions were and controlling they were.  This morning in seeing this I was able to confess these actions as prideful and sinful and that I now want to be fully obedient to God’s purposes and let His miracles of changed lives happen even if it does include using what He has done in my life.