The one thing about writing a blog, it keeps me in touch with my daily events.  I’m learning how much in my past I’ve lived in the denial of trials and troubles and their severity.  I would just tackle them as they came.  The fact that God had a role in handling them was known and appreciated by me but I didn’t give any of this too much thought.  Today I know why I didn’t and why I would stay in denial of the turmoil I had within me.  Emotional surges have always haunted me that I would see in people.  I knew from a very, very young age that emotional surges meant beatings and uncontrolled rage.  When I was young it would be physical ones and when I was in my later teens it would be verbal lashings.  I would steel myself from these.  Nothing could predict when they would come except the emotional highs.

I am awakening to a truth for me.  When I have emotional moments that have much significance I need to be wary.  These are times when I will be tempted to flee and turn to gratifying myself as I had done for so long.  It isn’t about the cause of the emotional moments, it is simply the fact they happen.  I say all of this because as I am stepping into the potential work as I talked about yesterday I feel eager and anxious all at the same time.  Yesterday Satan had a hay day with me.  I know the topic of homosexuality is a hot one in our society today.  However, the message from God remains the same–we all have temptations, participating in them is the sin.  “Take all thoughts captive,” II Corinthians 10:5, is our command.

Yesterday I was contacted by my prayer warrior telling me to read a chapter from a book she felt I needed to know right now.  The chapter is all about preparing for battling strongholds in my life and defining strongholds as addictions as well as hurts gone unaddressed leaving hatred and bitterness, etc.  The preparation was about having God’s Word ready to combat these times when Satan seeks to destroy our participation in God’s Kingdom work.  We need to know the scriptures to claim and then say them.  These are two spiritual weapons.  I got up in the middle of the night–couldn’t sleep, and read all of this.  After yesterday, I knew I needed to get serious about this and get my accountability armed for battle.  God is working and if I am going to join Him I cannot be lax in my preparation.  To God be all Glory.  He is the Victor and I want this truth to be the case for today.