Wow, today is a day to reflect and remember the tragedy of 9-11.  And, it will also be remembered as a day when a different tragedy ravaged Florida and on into the South.  We really do need to take heed to these times and be ready for Christ’s return.

The Isaiah scripture 40:31, I mentioned yesterday tells us “to wait” on the Lord.  I went on to say that Joyce Meyer tells us that to wait translates today meaning “to rest”. There are a lot of ways to wait–anxiously waiting is often heard by ones around us.  To rest, however, has a totally different context.  If I’m going to rest I must relax.  For me to relax I have to surrender whatever is holding me in some state of anxiety.

Remember last fall when I blogged that in The Conquer Series I was attending the authors said our home of the Holy Spirit is the amygdala of our brain?  When I first heard this I thought it was so “stupid”.  Why would anyone think the Holy Spirit would make its home in the primitive part of us?  I quickly began to understand why God did this.  It is in this primitive part of our brain that all our reflexes are housed.  We do not control our reflexes–they take over when we go into a fight or flight mode of behavior. This morning, having awakened many times during the night quite anxious, I asked God why this continues to take place?  Why I am not finding any peace in these moments of anxiousness?  It was this morning during my journaling that all of this began to make sense as God spoke to my quieted spirit.  The trip this week to learn about working with the topic of homosexuality and helping others overcome, giving my testimony twice while I’m in Oregon, preparing for some upcoming performances with my quartet, restructuring some recovery programs we have at our church and more, all leave me anxious by the end of the day.  As God speaks in the morning I can take them step by step and do what needs to be done in the day.  At night though I begin to hear the voices of fear within me.  These are the ones that come from the amygdala in me.  So, as I talked to God about this, He told me these are the times I give them over to the very Holy Spirit residing there.  Just because He made his home in this part of me doesn’t mean He supersedes what has been there.  I must still do my part–surrender them at the start of  the day and again as the day progresses and I need to draw upon The Holy Spirit’s Strength because anxiety and fear is returning.

My childhood taught me well to fear–not trust the unknown.  I never knew when my brother would be coming and trying to do something to me.  I never knew when dad would blow and we would suffer the consequences.  Thus, I learned to fear really well.  I also learned to camouflage it too.  I don’t want to do this anymore.  I’m not this kid afraid of my future.  Day by day I will better learn to surrender at all times of the day knowing why surrendering is the Powerful step for me.  I hope this helps any reader who may struggle similarly.  God be with you as He is with me.