Today is the birthday for one of my older brothers–Herb.  He is the one most people say I look most like.  I like to tell him that is his compliment!  Enough of that nonsense.

Today I awoke early, earlier than usual for a calm day.  In fact, I simply awoke at 4:58 and waited 2 minutes so I wouldn’t get up until 5.  I spent my typical time in my devotions reading more in Isaiah–a tremendously good book in the Old Testament and then began my journaling.  It was then I asked God if He had a reason for awakening me?  I didn’t awaken this morning to the anxiety I’ve had the past many days.  It was unusual to be so awake and be calm.  Let me now back up to last night’s 7-Pillars class.

In class last night we needed to disclose what is called The Arousal Template.  In it one needs to tell what their struggle/addiction is.  In the 2nd column one then tells what events in early life fed this struggle’s development.  In the 3rd column one tells what effects the items in the 2nd column had on you.  In the 4th column one tells what core beliefs you have resulting from all of the other columns.  Lastly, in the 5th column one identifies the steps to breaking out of the bondage of these core beliefs.  It is a most difficult assignment, but also a very necessary one.  Last night we had to talk through our template.  As I did I couldn’t help but notice myself being freer and freer to talk about this.  It was no longer being said from shame but it was being told from a foundation I hadn’t known until last night.  I was actually telling it to help someone else.  It was no longer a mass of filth I needed to hide.  It was the filth of my past that, if I told it, would help someone else be freer to tell their own.  In past I’ve needed to steel myself in order to tell these things.  I would steel myself from the emotional angst it would generate.  Not so last night.

This morning’s freedom from anxiety told me God has helped me overcome a major hurdle.  I know His timing is perfect.  Tomorrow Kathy and I leave to head into a weekend of facing these past giants of my life.  Instead of hiding them, I’m looking into the work of using these giants as God’s tools for His Kingdom Work.  He seemed to be asking me this morning if I am ready to do all of this only for Him?  I can’t have any other lingering needs:  sympathy, praise, etc.  Not that these aren’t nice, but I can’t be going into God’s Work expecting my needs to be met.  I want to fully be committed to His Work being done.  Wow, I write this with anticipation for the weekend.  It is a new day in many ways.  To God be all Glory–Great things He has done!