Yesterday was disrupted with an early morning trip to our daughter taking my pickup to her as her car was needing some work done.  As I got back home I quickly wrote the blog and now this morning I see it never posted.  How that happened is beyond me.  Anyway, sorry for the absence.

Yesterday turned into a day of turmoil.  There were problems to face which always leave me feeling helpless.  These times are the ones when I am easy prey and I know it.  I hate feeling helpless and I’m sure that goes right back to the early days in my life when I actually was.  So, this morning I was conversing with God through journaling asking Him how He ever establishes the boundaries within us when our early years destroyed them?  I know that my boundary strengths are strong in many areas but when it comes to the temptation to flee to porn when I am troubled like yesterday I am very weak and need to use something other than my own strength.  I did get through the day but it was troubling.

This morning God began to talk to me about boundaries.  He reminded me that I have a picture of me when I was young and not abused.  I am still this person He created way back then.  He also reminded me of the men He has placed in my life any of which would be glad to pray with me when I reach out to them.  He then told me that boundaries set in our adult years require us swallowing our personal pride in order to use them.  When boundaries are set in place there is no temptation that can overcome us.  However, Satan’s manipulative ways try to make us think we have to do this on our own or we are just plain weak.  That is me!  I never want to be weak again as I felt I was all through my childhood.  So, the scripture, 2 Corinthians 12:9-11 says:  “…My grace is sufficient for thee for my strength is made perfect in weakness….”

I’ve always known that Christ had to be the strength during these tempting times, but how do I access this strength?  Today God pointed out that it is my personal pride that has to be weakened.  I can’t try to be strong in pride only–this is exactly what my father did.  If I am to live what the scripture says, I have to let my pride be weak so I reach out.  Somehow I’ve always felt that was some kind of weakness relating back to my childhood.  Instead, it is what Christ has always wanted me to understand about His ways.  I’ve never wanted pride to be prominent in my life.  I hated how it was so for my dad.

So, my lesson for today—-Man’s spirit is very proud.  It is this that I surrender to Christ and then I take the steps I need to take by taking that picture and calling a friend.  This doesn’t make we weak.  This is replacing my weak spirit with God’s Holy Spirit where all strength is found.  To God be all Glory!