Last night I taught the Celebrate Recovery lesson on Sanity for our group.  It was an insightful opportunity to watch and experience God at work.  The lesson Sanity is #4 of the 25 lessons to be taught throughout the year.  It is built around Principle 2 of the 8 and Step 2 of the 12.  Principle 2 reads:  “Earnestly believe that God exists, that I matter to Him and that He has the power to help me recover.”  After 9 years in Celebrate Recovery I’m finally awake to what this principle says.  First, I am to believe and I’m to do that earnestly (sincerely and honestly).  What do I believe– three things:  God exists, I matter to Him and He has the power to help me recover.  I have struggled all my life believing I matter to God.  I know this is a direct result of years of childhood abuse.  I’m not a child anymore and I am experiencing just how much I mean to God.  As this grows I realize just how powerful God is–taking away my darkness and turning it into glorious Light.

The accompanying verse for Principle 2 is Matthew 5:4.  It reads:  “Happy are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.”  I’ve always thought this verse is thoughtful, but I’ve never until now been able to make it relevant to me.  Notice it says that those who mourn are happy.  My whole life I’ve kept myself in denial that the abuse of my past actually hurt me.  I thought if I admitted it I’d be the sissy, baby, dad labeled me.  Now that I have been very intentional addressing the hurt of my past I have finally mourned the abuse.  In so doing, I am finding a happiness I’ve never known before.  This happiness is part of the miracle God’s healing power provides us.  This completes the portion of the scripture which says: “for they shall be comforted”.  If we don’t allow ourselves to mourn we cannot find comfort nor can we find the happiness promised.  Denial keeps us from mourning and Satan never wants us stepping out into the Truth of God’s Light provided in His Word.  Now that I’ve found the Light of this verse’s truth I never want to re-enter that dark state.  Praise God!