Last night was our weekly choir practice.  We are deep into the preparation for the Christmas drama/production: Four Tickets to Christmas.  It is one of the finest productions I’ve ever been part of and so touching.  Its story line is one every person needs to experience.  It’s one of forgiveness, love and compassion.  Unlike most, this one is filled with drama and requires much movement:  dance-like stuff.  It is hugely stifling and embarrassing for someone like me.  As I was watching the teens involved in it last night I saw and felt something inside me.  The kids were free to move and learn the moves with ease.  I recalled for a moment when I had that kind of confidence–innocent confidence.

As I was journaling this morning I was reflecting on this from last night.  I felt God walking me through my past.  Yes, in my youngest years I was a fairly confident boy in an innocent way.  The confidence was a natural part of me.  The years of abuse from my brother and dad did a huge number on it.  The bigger message however that God wanted me to see was one of His Work.  Once I was willing (out of desperation) to step out of my hiding and face the giants in my life:  my belief of who I thought I was, the value of my worth, the hurts, hang-ups and habits, etc., God was able to start replacing what was innocent confidence so long ago with faith in Him and trust in Him.  As I got into college I quit participating in productions.  I struggled to memorize when it wasn’t a song and I looked like a fool trying to dance.

So, this morning God was showing me He wanted me focusing on Him and His message and His work.  My part in the production is simply one part, but without it, the production is incomplete.  If I worry about what I cannot do well I will waste valuable time I could spend learning.  I’m also disrespecting my God who says, “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.” Philippians 4:13.  From this tidbit of a memory last night, God also showed me how the insecurities I’ve learned to think were me are now growing into trust and faith in Him, Christ and The Holy Spirit.  The work with Celebrate Recovery is helping others to do the same.

God is amazingly good at taking our humanness and turning it around into His handiwork.  I don’t want to be a hindrance to this.  So, I’m going to have faith that I can dance and move with the crowd as God is glorified in this upcoming Christmas production.