In my 7-Pillars class last night God opened a whole new reservoir of “stuff” I need to let go of.  I had thought we were ready to start the first lesson of our last pillar but one of the guys in our group needed to complete almost all of pillar 6 lessons.  So the first 2/3’s of the time was given to him.  I found myself hearing so much of these lessons for the first time even though I’d done them 3-4 weeks ago.  All of these lessons focus on the trauma of our past and replacing the trauma with God’s truth about us.  In my doing them I’d put answers which were true but I hadn’t allowed God to replace the lies of them with His truth.  I finally heard last night seemingly for the first time that the lies of our past occupy the space within us which God wants being used to store His truth about us.  Truths like: “I am fearfully and wonderfully made.”  “I am God’s masterpiece.”  “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.”  I have said and written this stuff so many times, yet, even though I have, I hang onto the lies within me.  Their deep roots were not uprooted.  This truth was what came out of just listening last night and not needing to participate in sharing answers.  So today, God said I need to share the lies and let them go!

My brother’s sexual use of me over so many years became my first sexual stimulation.  So in my mind I was gay because I’ve had sexual thoughts all my life like this.  Secondly, my dad’s verbal labeling calling me Hazel during my high school years and a sissy when I was younger left me believing this is who I really am.  I’ve kept these lies deeply within me.  Over the years I’ve told them and had so much therapy to replace them.   God shared with me that my inability to accept a compliment was because there was no room for them within because I had so many lies within taking up the storage of a compliment’s truth.  He wants me (us) to let the lies go once and for all so the truth about who we are in Him can start being who we actually believe we are.

Today in my devotional time I’ve taken time to let these lies go once and for all.  I know Satan will try and get me to believe them again, but I need to confess this because confessing is one of the steps God has us use to get the lie outside of us creating space for the seeds of truth to take root replacing the lies.

I sure hope this makes sense to you.  If you struggle like I do, God is patiently waiting for you to take this truth and act on it with Him.  He wants you to know just how much you are treasured by Him.