I’ve been wanting to learn how to live a Spirit-filled life for some time.  Now that I’ve finally accepted the truth that I, along with all others, am a child of God if we’ve received Him in our lives, and I have been given this Gift of the Holy Spirit.  There is such a big different between having a gift and using it.  As I step into a clearer understanding of full obedience to God, Jesus Christ and The Holy Spirit I find/see more clearly how much my own passion/spirit interferes with quickly obeying The Holy Spirit’s leadership.  When I am leading I really do try in as nicely as possible, to get others on board with my thinking.  I know my thinking can be flawed, but to get me to see the flaws is tougher than I would intend for it to be.  I’m in the midst of working through some of this right now as I step into the development of our new recovery classes.

I’ve never really thanked God for the passion I possess towards the work I do.  If someone cornered me on the topic I believe I’d tell them the passion is from God.  However, I’m now seeing rather plainly that the passion is simply me.  I want it to be used for God’s purposes and I want people to be blessed from it.  Well, in just writing this out I count no less than 6 “I’s”.  This unto itself is telling.  Obedience and surrender have a different sense of passion behind them.  Passion becomes determination with kindness and discernment when it is in obedience to God’s leading through His Holy Spirit.  My spirit is one with His when this is true.

God is needing me to awaken to these things I know.  It is a growing step for me.  Last night’s blessings were well received by everyone.  I enjoy more watching people receive their blessing and then give one to another.  However, when it is my turn to receive my blessing, I get tense.  That unworthiness factor tries to dominate me.  However, I recognized it last night.  The blessings God gives us are many when we finally allow God’s work to be recognized and received.  A simple compliment received and not talked down is a perfect example of one for me.  Another blessing for me is God working me through these steps of obedience and surrender.  I want to be better in all of this and God is faithful to get me there.