I was just rereading my blog from yesterday and thought I had written a silly thing when I said that I need to realize I have to remove choice when I feel The Holy Spirit’s nudge.  Good grief, that statement alone was a choice.  Each and every time I sense a nudge the item of choice will be present.  Being a human keeps it firmly there.  I’d like to remove the idea of choice from this so I would automatically be obedient each time I feel the Spirit nudge, but I will never not be human until death separates me from this life.

Yesterday I called my mentor to catch her up to speed on the things of present for which I could sure use her prayers.  Her husband is in ill health so I’d procrastinated about getting back to her.  She said she’d thought I didn’t want her prayers any longer–that was another lesson for me.   God had been nudging me for the past several weeks to call her and I kept rationalizing–another choice.  She is now caught up to speed.  We had a long conversation which was good for both of us.

Late yesterday afternoon one of the guys in our step study text me wanting to talk through something.  He said he wanted to text because he didn’t want to call about it.  I said I was ok with that.  I know his struggle and I thought that was why he was coming to our Celebrate Recovery and why he’d chosen to attend the step study.  It turns out I was off base on both accounts.  He does struggle with same sex attraction and had talked to me about this numerous times.  However, he never talks about it as a struggle except he struggles with relationships.  I kept putting the two struggles together as though they were the same.  As we talked last night it was clear he sees nothing wrong with the one.  I did the best I could attempting to show how God loves all of us but we are to use the Bible as our guide for living a victorious life.  He said he thought Celebrate Recovery wasn’t right for him after all.  This morning I know I did the right thing but I hurt for him.  He is locked in a struggle that many know in secret.  I know God uses all things to His honor and glory and I leave this situation with Him knowing He is not done with it.

The flesh is an incredibly strong.  Only with God’s help can we overcome, but we have to come to the place where we want to overcome before any of this transformation can happen.  I’ll  leave this here for now knowing God is at work and does use all things.