I know it sounds silly, but I love typing March above as the date.  The days of winter are growing slim and the days of spring are about to come upon us—Greenhouse, here I come!

What I wrote about yesterday was a start to a major hurdle God is wanting me to jump.  I was looking yesterday for the schedule of testimonies and lessons for our current Celebrate Recovery year.  I knew I was doing something in March but wanted to find out what and when.  I couldn’t find the schedule so I called the leader who originates this to find I’m teaching CONFESS next Wed. and the following Wed. I am giving my testimony.  No wonder God was nudging me to look.  When I give my testimony I always take time to update it with what God has been currently doing in my life.  I was pondering yesterday how to word all of the “stuff” God has been doing into a concise few paragraphs.  This morning, God showed me.

I wrote a couple days ago about Monday night’s struggle I had faced most of the night prior to starting our new leadership training for the recovery classes.  This has been troubling me all week because I wasn’t able to find God in the struggle as I’ve been attempting to do as these moments hit.  Even though I wrote what I did yesterday, I still couldn’t find the Strength of God.  I felt alone in this.  In my bible reading this morning I read II Timothy 2 where Paul outlines many areas for Timothy to be ready to face as he matures in his walk with God.  One of these statements from Paul was verse 22:  “Shun youthful lusts and flee from them, and aim at and pursue righteousness.”  I’ve always been ashamed when I would turn to self-gratification as I was tormented with Satan’s attacks about my worthiness, my identity, my value to God or man.  So this morning I asked Jesus to help me understand His place in all of this.  He was able to withstand all temptation so what am I missing here?  His response was, “Earnie, I’m right here helping you see the truth as in this morning.  See how Satan uses the inner strife to cause you to only see the loss of me and hate My Father and Me?  He’s had you believing I (We) don’t love you like we do others when We loved you so much We knew our Hope would bring you to this point of today where these recovery ministries will be led by our beloved son and brother adopted into our Kingdom.  You are redeemed.  Earnie, this is you–the new creation who is no longer hiding but facing the hiding with determination to not let it own you or try to make you believe you’re safe in the cave of sin.  You don’t have to believe those lies anymore.  You are redeemed and a new creation.”  I cried.

Well, this was a moment of great Light being shed for me.  I’m not earning something with this work as I always tried so hard to do in times past.  I am obeying God who has asked me to join His Team.  I am redeemed by the very blood of the Lamb which cleansed all others and me.  I’m a new creation now completing my role in this earthly life God has given me.  Praise God!