The very first commandment tells us to have no other gods before me, Exodus 20:3 and Deuteronomy 5:7. I never thought this was the case for me until I realized that taking a look at porn was exactly looking at some other “god”. This present time of my journey has me realizing another truth which came out of today’s devotional. The topic was hitting on codependency. When I saw it I thought this will be an easy one because this is one character defect I rarely struggle with. Well, that was until I finished the devotional and heard The Holy Spirit’s voice in my head.

A simple definition of codependency is pleasing someone when you already know it goes against what you know is right but you want to keep the relationship with that person so you do it. As I was processing today’s message I heard God’s voice ask me about my desire to please “me” and keep me “happy”. Don’t I desire to please me more than I want to obey God’s voice when I battle with the temptation of porn? This is an unhealthy act of codependency with oneself. Here I was taking pride initially in not being codependent only to see and know this message is true for me. I’ve always given the root of this defect to my brother’s long term use of me and dad’s belittling verbal messages. Even though they are gone, I still have this temptation. So if I please it I’m only accommodating my own selfishness putting a god before God.

This is a sobering reality but a very important one for me. I thank God for never giving up on helping me grow more and more into His likeness and not the likeness of my selfish desires.