For 90 days I’ve been responding to the entries in the book I’ve mentioned numerous times: Freedom Starts Today. Today concludes this. The last day has one taking a look at what one was addressing during this time and the root of it. Porn has been a “thorn” for me every since I discovered it in my late 40’s on the internet. I’ve been able to forgive myself time and time again because if I did submit to it I was at least better than dad or my brother. They did real things that hurt. I just did this. I write about it and I talk about it. But in reality, what I saw in myself today was this pride of mine.

Every single time I’d try to salve the pain of guilt with that line–“at least I’m not like dad or my brother”–I was forgiving myself and gratifying my pride. This isn’t a new message for me, but today I saw the root of this pride in me. One just doesn’t earn goodness in Christ from prideful actions. God’s Mercy, Grace, Love, Forgiveness and so much more are GIFTS which are given from His nature, not something I’ve earned.

My goal in life has always been to be Christ-like. But, my measuring stick wasn’t Christ, it was dad and my brother. Today I let that go and confessed my sinful pride. My eyes are on Christ and Christ alone. I will need to do this daily, How faithful and loving our Savior and Lord Jesus Christ is!