I’m reminded today of God’s love and mercy. Along with this love and mercy He gives to us, He is extremely patient in waiting for us to receive it. I spent most of my life asking God to remove the vicious memories of my childhood abuse so I could “live freely”. Along with these memories I wanted Him to remove all of the tormenting temptations I had which entered in my life and added more shame to whom I thought I was. I couldn’t see or find God’s love and mercy for me when He was unwilling to act on my requests/pleas. Why would He want me to suffer all of it when I knew He didn’t treat anyone else this way?

As I’ve begun to share what I kept inside as my secrets I’ve found that the world is full of people holding secrets. They may not be secrets like my own, but the reason for not sharing them was driven by fear and shame just like mine were. When I share mine, they are willing to begin to share their own. Only then did I begin to find that freedom to “live freely”.

My definition for God’s love and mercy was to grant my pleas. Instead, God was wanting me to begin to respond to His Spirit’s nudges within me. Today, I understand much more fully this love and mercy of God which is fully accompanied with GRACE. It is received when I act on God’s nudges. God’s nudges are given for completing His Purposes. As I’ve awakened to all of this, my desire to share my past rather than hide it has changed completely. In sharing I find the great reward of watching God dismantle other’s shackles just as He has done my own!