All of my life I’ve been confessing sin. For the first 60 years I confessed sins done to me along with my own but those sins done to me just left me as ugly as my own. I could never find “cleansing”. When I finally awoke to my confused thinking I let the sins done to me go for they were not mine to confess. That was a huge step for me. I still have my selfishness to deal with and confess, but where I find myself spinning is in the arena of repent. Repent is the remorse for the sin/s and a plan to not repeat the sin/s needing confession.

I’ve said many times that while I was in my childhood I tolerated the sexual abuse of my brother due to his own terrible abuse from dad. He needed an outlet for his own hurts and I was that outlet. Little did I know its consequences. Today I understand this, but I’ve wanted the temptations it leaves me with to be obliterated–yet they are not. I confess this and feel much remorse for it. The plan to stay sober one day at a time is my best plan and it allows me to draw daily upon God’s Holy Spirit. Learning to do this has been its own awakening. God is so Faithful and so is His Holy Spirit within me. Learning to Trust Him and to follow His Lead has provided its own reward–FREEDOM one day at a time!

Today’s focus for my devotions hits a homerun. It is separating the difference between confessing and repenting. We may confess our sin, but if we don’t repent, we will be repeating this sinful behavior over and over again. The difference between these two is huge. Confess is admitting the sin takes place in one’s life and we confess it. Repent on the other hand is what our next step should be and that is to take the necessary steps so we don’t repeat the sin we confessed. There are so many examples one could give demonstrating this, but I’m sure if this is relevant, you understand.

God’s Word guides us to both confessing and repenting, but one needs to take the steps in order for God’s freedom to step in. The battle for this has been won by our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. We can choose to accept this freedom by completing each of these two steps: confess and then repent by taking the needed steps. It is that simple, yet, our pride and selfishness can be a huge interference. I choose to take the steps. Please join me.

God is driving a point home for me of late. His Son Jesus lives in me and I live in Him. Along with this truth, there can be no idols but Him–Jesus. I don’t want any other idols, but there are things that can easily become one and this is what God is wanting me to see. These idols can be something I see in this world or it can be something I see in my mind.

Spending time with God/Jesus/Holy Spirit each morning is a very healthy start for the day. But, if I don’t keep them in the forefront of my mind, it is so easy to let other things begin to creep in. I love how faithful God is to us, keeping us continually reminded of His importance to our daily living. In this living 24/7 for Him, we have genuine FREEDOM. Oh, how wonderful it is to live in this FREEDOM!

Living in Christ and Christ living in me is an eternal promise, yet has a relevant meaning for each and everyday. Today’s focus is that I can have no other gods before me. Of course, any addiction one struggles with falls into this “gods” category. As I was looking out of the window where I have my devotions I can easily see all of the flowers in bloom and this brings much peace to my soul. I love gardening for the beauty it provides and I can easily take pride in my yard. Do I idolized it? I jokingly say I do, but in reality I thank God for the chance to be a gardener hoping He will give me gardening duty in heaven!

Reflecting on the topic of gods before me is something that becomes very apparent when living in Christ. Darkness is very visible in the Light of Christ and cannot remain in His Light. I don’t want any idols in my life so I’m asking Jesus to let me see what He wants me to so that He and I can tend to them.

I wrote last Sunday about Christ living in me and I living in Christ–II Corinthians 5:17. The reality of this hasn’t left me but continues to grow within me with a desire to understand this reality in its breadth and depth. As I was journaling earlier this morning I had one of the guys reach out telling me he had relapsed last night but today he was going to be sober for the next 24 hours. I know this gentleman well and his story sounds a lot like each one of us who is breaking free from the bondage of addictive sin. This is when I asked Jesus what He wanted me to know about this? His response was immediate. He brought me to His Words in Matthew 7:7-8. It says “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.”

As I was processing Jesus’ response to me with these two verses I visualized myself standing “in Jesus” knocking on the door of “living in Christ and Christ living in me” asking for help to understand what this reality is. I told Him I will wait for Him to open this door of knowing and understanding.

Today my grandson leaves returning to his base. This ends the wedding festivities and company. Life slowly returns to its normalcy and such wonderful memories left behind. It is a week to cherish!

There are so many things to reflect upon at a time like today thanking God for His ongoing blessings. Grandchildren are one of the most precious gifts God provides. Then as they grow up they marry and you can double the amount of them. Of course, the great grandkids can also be a step after that, but I’ll let that come as it may!

Times of reflection are a real JOY when one focuses on God’s rich blessings!

I’m late getting today’s entry written. I had an early morning counseling appointment so I figured I’d write this afterwards. God continues to open my mind to the needs around me. Along with the appointment I just finished, I called a person who had asked for counseling. As I talked with her to set an appointment she said she wasn’t going to do so after all. She is approximately my age, but had been abused severely throughout childhood, even to the point of her mother trying to kill her and she spent two months in the hospital not expected to live. As we talked she said she changed her mind about coming, she just gets too upset and she doesn’t want to be upset at this point in her life.

I know this crazy emotional upheaval one goes through for I went through all of them myself before I had any help. Even after help, there are times when thoughts and emotions reoccur that you want to stuff rather than face. This poor lady will need more prayer before she is ready to let herself be angry and bitter for the sake of overcoming with God’s help. The needs are great but our GOD is greater if we will only give Him the chance.

I am still in amazement of what I wrote yesterday. The reality of living in Jesus is starting to sink in. All of my life I’ve attempted to do just what scripture tells me to do like: put on the full armor of God, commit all of my fears to Him, trust in Him, do not be anxious, and so much more! Somehow, I’ve always thought of these as things I must do because Christ now lives in me and I should be “strong in Him”. Yet, for me, I always saw myself at risk of failure. This shell of a man couldn’t seem to keep “enough Jesus” in him to stay on top of all he was suppose to be.

Now comes yesterday where I read in my devotional that “I am in You and You are in me”. I stopped and thought–“What, I am in Christ?” Then I read II Corinthians 5:17 which says in part, “Therefore if any man is in Christ he is a new creation…” So, what stood out is “in Christ“. Christ wasn’t just in this shell of a man. I am in the Son of the Living God! Wow, does that ever change my perspective of the chance to live freely in Christ. Of course I can be free if I’m living IN HIM. I can see in my mind that each morning as I start my day I choose to step into Christ and this makes all of the difference in the world!

This morning I will be singing a solo in our choir number. I anguish over times like this wanting it to be perfect for God and afraid I’ll screw it up. As I began to journal I started to write that I’d be glad when the morning was over. I was checked at this point and wrote I will surrender my fear and look forward to being a tool in Christ’s hands.

Later in my devotional time I read the gospel truth that not only does Christ live in me, but I too live in Christ, II Corinthians 5:17. In fact it says I’m a new creation IN CHRIST. Somehow all of these years I’m anchored myself in the truth that Christ is in me, but the fact that I can be in Him? That truth has never entered my mind until now. Good grief, I’ve always known Christ is everywhere so my understanding I can be in Christ should just be known and understood. However, that hasn’t been the case for myself until now. I’ve always felt unworthy of Christ being in me, but knowing I can be in Him makes a world of difference! As I am in Him, He is also in me. WOW! What a wonderful wake-up this is! This morning I will sing with great GRATITUDE!

We made it home and hosted a big family get-together last night with the bride and groom even attending. They are planning a later in the year honeymoon since the bride, my granddaughter, starts her first teaching job next Monday. They have one more reception tonight which will end the festivities.

The journey of today is to simply catch things up in the yard this morning, attend a 60th wedding anniversary party this afternoon and go to the last reception tonight. Life will go back to more normalcy starting tomorrow. It has been a great week watching how God orchestrates so many details when He is asked to be the One in charge. It has been a joy to watch and take a little part in.