There are times in our lives when words are insufficient for describing events in life. Last night’s wedding was one of those. I’d never experienced a wedding of a grandchild until last night. I always think of grandkids as “little ones” who sit on your lap and you bounce around. Even though that hasn’t been the case for several years with my own, their young adult lives still have all of those wonderful memories. Now, however, the wedding has brought about an event which awakens me to the beauty of their having entered adulthood. The entire event was lovely, God-honoring, and just plain fun–even for a grandpa!
I love how God brings things together. My new grandson is exceptionally good hearted and fun. He is such a fine addition to our family and my granddaughter is such a fine addition to their family. How rich I am!
Today is the wedding. Yesterday was an enjoyable time getting set up done. The wedding is on the shore of the lake which will be a beautiful setting. This morning we finish the details of set-up that couldn’t be done until today. It is such a wonderful tribute to God’s blessings in their lives. They are a God honoring couple.
Today we are in Donnelly, ID for the baptism of our granddaughter and her fiancé. Tomorrow will be their wedding. The rest of the day following the baptism we will be giving assistance to setting up for tomorrow’s blessed event. It is an outdoor wedding so the set up is a little different.
The focus of my devotional time couldn’t be better. It is all about opening my arms lifted upward to receive God’s glorious Gifts of Love, Grace and Mercy. I often get lost in the details of the work and only afterwards looking back do I see God’s handiwork. It seems God is wanting for me to open my eyes beyond the tasks at hand and see His Handiwork while it is taking place today. It is like a new experience for me. However, I am looking forward to how it comes together. God is so AMAZING!
Have you ever fretted over something for a period of time wondering why God didn’t do something during the time? Then, when you finally take a moment to release the fret and turn it into praise, God acts. This action is something I have to contend with as part of me. I’m not sure in the spiritual world what fretting does to interfere with God’s design, but I do know God doesn’t want me in the midst of fret. He wants me in the midst of thanksgiving and praise, not for what He so much has done, but having “faith of a mustard seed” to move the mountain that seems unsurmountable. I think this is called TRUST!
This morning as I was journaling I was brought to this message once again. I might be somewhat better at praising God ahead of time when problems arise, but I sure haven’t made this a first choice when it does. My flesh wants answers much more quickly removing the problem. Yet, I know that when God works His Miracles, not only does the problem go away, but everyone involved has taken a step closer to knowing God and trusting Him. God is our AMAZING GOD!
Thursday of this week my oldest granddaughter is getting married. Today our Oklahoma family is flying in for the upcoming event. Tomorrow our oldest grandson flies in for it. We all head tomorrow to the wedding location. I’ve looked forward to this for many months. Today, as the reality of this begins, I reflect on the importance of family. I love family and desire for us to have unity and purity of heart. Satan knows God’s importance of family and does all he can to destroy family bonds. I can get caught in his traps at times, but I’m always brought back to the Strength of God’s Family. His Strength is far greater than anything Satan could do. So, today I rejoice and thank God for His and my family.
How humbling it is to know that each one of us is fearfully and wonderfully made, knit in our mother’s womb and we can know this full well! Psalms 139:14.
I started my journaling this morning with the message to Jesus that I often struggle to tell my accountability about my off and on temptation/struggle with any type of porn. My pride wants to have me look like a person who has moved beyond such a thing. The pride goes on to say things like, “you can’t be a good leader if you still struggle with such ugly sins”. I want to be completely honest with my sponsor in spite of this pridefulness.
Well, as only God does, as I was reading my devotional, its topic was the importance of confession so one doesn’t have to deal with the painful infection caused by unconfessed sin lingering in our system. I smiled and thanked God for this message. I have no problem getting the message/s from ones I sponsor telling me of their struggle. I receive the message without judgment and give support and thanksgiving for their honesty. Yet, my own pride wants to deny me of this support trying to make me look stronger than I am.
Being sold out to Jesus doesn’t remove the arrows of temptation from Satan. However, when we follow Christ’s scripture to us confessing to someone we trust, we overcome by His Strength. This all happens “one day at a time” for that is when Christ’s Strength is available to us. He is I AM!
Today’s focus is the truth that I find Jesus Strength in my life one day at a time. By now I’d think I would be living this truth out without any need of reminders. However, just yesterday I’d written about the roots of abuse going so deeply into me that I’d likely struggle with it the rest of my life.
As I was journaling this morning I was asking God how do I ever move beyond this and replace this struggle with the roots of His Truth that I’m a new creation? Instantly the words “one day at a time” were given to me. It was then that I thought, “Well, I’ve live 70+ years wanting to have this struggle replaced”. The new roots of truth are young and I’ll need to keep nurturing this truth so the old lie can be choked out with the roots of truth! I do this by believing and relying on God’s truth one day at a time for that is how I find the Strength within me–The Holy Spirit. The temptations only come in my todays and that is why The Holy Spirit is found in me in my todays. It sure makes good sense!
Last night at Celebrate Recovery a gentleman in our share group made a statement which I cannot let go, nor should I. He, like myself, had a childhood of sexual abuse partly from an older brother. He stated in our group that a therapist had helped him understand that childhood sexual abuse disallows the abused to develop natural boundaries while their brain and emotional base are developing. He shared how this had been true for him and why he struggles today.
As I was hearing this I was brought back to my own story. I have been told by all three of the counselors I’ve had in life that my struggles will likely be with me throughout my life. The “water runs deeply into the roots of who I am”. As I’ve pondered this I can easily see why fear became my solid boundary. However, so much in life that shouldn’t be feared was for me. As I began to date in college I FEARED being touched or having anyone sitting right next to me. I FEARED the thoughts I had thinking I’d be judged and kicked out of everything I wanted for my life ahead. FEAR did drive much of my decision making.
I look at all of this now and smile. I still have the moments of fear but they are, in most cases, quickly replaced with the calm knowing this is my past, it is not me today. Fear owned me not so long ago. This is no longer true. God is amazing in how He patiently grows us as we keep ourselves focused on Him.
As I sit at my computer to write today’s entry I have an abundance of thoughts going through my mind. Do I want to confess what I’m learning about me at this present time? I’ve written so many times about my barometer for living a “christian life” was to not be like my brother or my dad. If my sins didn’t harm others the way they harmed me, I was OK. Today is different. I have learned to keep my eyes on Jesus. Keeping my eyes on Jesus is showing me just how much He and I are different. I let my will have its way at times. I let my pride get the best of me. I understand my weakness, my inability to use my strength to battle temptations.
Jesus wants me to live for Him this day. In this day I have full access to Him. Tomorrow I will have it again. In all this I’ve awakened to Him and me. He has brought me to the foot of the Cross where I stand/kneel with my dad and brother and our sins. Christ has done for all of them what He promises. How grateful I am for our Savior and Lord–Jesus Christ!
I wrote yesterday about falling into the use of my own strength when I battle temptations forgetting momentarily that only in God’s Strength can one overcome. Today’s devotional message brings this out again. It reminds the reader that we have no fleshly power over Satan. He can overpower us. However, Christ has all power over Satan. So, remembering to surrender our temptation to Christ and letting Him address Satan is paramount.
Living for Jesus is my heart’s desire. But, living for Jesus while in my flesh is a daily surrender. As a kid I thought I needed to be strong so I’d not let the abuse taking place overcome me. What I sure didn’t know was that thinking I needed to be strong only fed false confidence. Today, as an older adult, I call it pride. I don’t want pride ever standing in the way of living for Christ so daily surrendering my will is critical. Along with surrendering it, I need to confess it to a trusted believer.
Earnie Lewis 