The bible I’m presently using in my devotional time is chronological and one-year so I will have read through it from Jan.-Dec. It has been insightful to see just how many times things are repeated in scripture when they are aligned in their chronological pattern. Today’s alignment had a significant message for me.

I just started the New Testament a few days ago. Part of today’s reading included the message of putting new wine in old wine skins. If the new wine isn’t put into new wine skins, the new wine will burst the old skin. The books of Matthew, Mark and Luke all tell this same message so in today’s reading I get the message in triple dose. (I needed to get it this way)! Somehow I’ve always read this as an interesting fact. Today, however, I got the real message. In everything Earnie does he does it as a new creation. This is a truth I can hang onto whatever God has put before me in the day. This Christmas program I’m a part of doesn’t need to shut me down with fear; because the counseling session is going going to be a tough topic–I don’t need to be anxious (and so many more), I am a new creation with Christ Jesus living in me along with His Holy Spirit. I’m a new wine skin with new wine in me. II Corinthians 5:17 says, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come. The old has gone, the new is here.” Today I don’t just know this, I BELIEVE it and I can act upon it no matter what is before me in the day.

WOW! What a powerful message this is for me today! God is SO GOOD!

I’ve written many times in recent months about the influence of the 90 day devotional book, Freedom Starts Today. Today is no exception. The message of today went much deeper into me than it did 90 days ago (which happened to be my birthday). The message was where I (we) find our comfort: pleasures, measures or treasures. The driver of these for me would be pleasures. I love to find joy, peace and contentment in life each and every day. If there are stressors, unresolved issues, etc., I will work to resolve them. But, if they continue I’ll seek pleasure outside of them and that has been where things like porn fit so easily.

Today as I read this message for the 2nd time it goes much deeper in meaning. Knowing that pleasure is my greatest weakness of the three is one thing, seeing that seeking pleasure in sinful ways not only brings great guilt to me, but today I see very well how it greatly interferes with my relationship with God, Christ and God’s Spirit in me.

I have greatly appreciated this book and I’ve especially appreciated going through it a 2nd time to not just learn the messages, but to bring the message into growing my relationship with the most important ONES in my life: God, Jesus and The Holy Spirit. This relationship deepening is its own “pleasure” that brings such JOY to my spirit.

As I journal of late I keep hearing the Spirit’s nudge to take a look at how well my soul is. He simply asks each morning as I write, “What do you want me to know from you for today?–“Is it well with your soul?” I always have to tune in with my soul at that moment. It is a quick and easy item to do for I instantly know if I need to clean up a situation I’ve put on hold or tried to suppress. Rather than doing what I selfishly want to do, I need to address the item. It is always the “right thing to do too”.

Today’s message to me in each of my devotional parts is TRUST. It’s focus is deepening my relationship with God, not with knowledge alone, but with Trust in what He nudges me to do. The more I respond to His nudges the more I realize how wrong I’ve been to question them or to just ignore them as suggestions rather than assignments.

The outcome of following God’s lead in my life has been so fulfilling in realizing His loving, patient and caring nature. Living for Him is a pleasure, never a threat.

Have you ever dealt with fear? You don’t need to answer that for I know we all have and we all do and we all will continue to do so. However, when dealing with fear, I am finding, it doesn’t need to own me–freeze me into a state of helplessness.

The topic of my devotions for today seemed to center entirely on fear. To be honest with you, I’ve hated this word all of my life. It did nothing but own me for much of it. I cannot ever remember a moment in time when I didn’t fear my dad. My earliest memories of him start with fear: fear of him coming home from work, fear of the games he wanted to play on us, fear of the fighting and wrestling matches he wanted me participating in, fear of his anger, temper, beatings and verbal criticism, and the list goes on. As I grew into the understanding of what my brother was doing to me sexually and its impact on me, I feared what my life would be like if anyone ever found out. Another fear I had was the fear of telling dad it hadn’t stopped and my brother would get a beating even worse than the one “I caused” when I told dad the first time at a younger age.

My adult years were gripped with the fear that my profession and my community would learn of my past and I’d lose my opportunity to be a part of education. What community or profession would want someone like me working in it? I write all of this demonstrating my fear of fear and my hatred for what it did to me.

My devotions were pointing out that fear of God is not like fear defined by man and continuously used by Satan. Fear of God is a reverence of Him. It is knowing God enough to surrender any of fleshes fear to Him knowing the love He has for you and me conquers any of fleshes fears. I don’t deal with fear as I have in my past, but I sure loved this message of today. It reminds me why I want to share my story so that others don’t need to deal with fear throughout their lives as I have. Our God conquers fear and motivates us beyond it!

As I began to journal this morning I was asking Jesus to help me know where His throne is within me? I want so much to have my focus throughout the day being upon Him and Him alone. It seemed as though if I knew where within me He is I could better stay focused on Him. Well, I was not expecting a clear cut answer, but instead, here is what I unexpectedly received.

My devotional readings focused on giving my all to God so He would be the focus of my day. The wisdom He wants me to draw from is not that which man produces, but what His Holy Spirit produces within me at the time I need it–often His Words in scripture. The scripture reading was when Christ didn’t accompany his parents as they left Jerusalem. When they returned to find him they found him in the temple with the scholars. His words to them were something like, “Didn’t you know I need to be about my Father’s business?”

Then, after praying over my prayer list I read the 90-day book I reference often. Its focus was on the truth that God takes all of our sinfulness and reassembles it into a vessel of His making. It is beautiful when we allow this to happen for He wants to make our mess into His Message. I’ve known this for several years now, but what I saw in my mind today was Christ standing at the Cross where my sins are buried. He beckoned me to join Him. He is proud of who He has recreated in this new life called Earnie, and He wants me to not only join Him, but to do so with pride and joyful gratitude.

I didn’t get my question specifically answered, but what I got instead is a purpose that brings joy to my heart and tears to my eyes. How grateful I am and with pride I join Jesus as He beckons me to do so. All I now know is that this vessel He has recreated is filled with HIs Holy Spirit’s presence! WOW!

At the top of my prayer list I have written, Eyes on Christ alone. It is so easy to get focused on what man is doing or what man is saying regarding topics that are of interest to me. In fact, I can get lost in them if I don’t take a minute to process with Jesus whether I should involve myself in them. I am much more awake to the “passionate” energy I have which makes me think I’m doing just what God wants done. Well, I’ve learned many times that passion disconnected from Jesus is wasted energy.

In my early mornings I sit at my desk which looks out a window seeing a large flower bed that has an abundance of different flowers blooming from early spring until the frost hits sometime in the fall. When daylight begins to hit and I see the colors of the sunrise over the colors of the flower bed I am quickly reminded of the peace that passeth all understanding when I’m centered on Christ alone. There is nothing more gratifying and peace providing than these quiet moments.

In I Kings 19:11-12 Elijah has fled from King Ahab and Jezebel. God spoke to him and said, “‘…Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by.’ Then a great powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper.”

When I keep my eyes only on Jesus I can much more easily see where He wants my energy spent. He is truly God Almighty Who uses a whisper to get my attention.

If you have read my autobiography you know that an associate pastor at my church back in 1980 asked me to begin a singles bible study. We had never had one and I was newly divorced so he thought it would be appropriate. I told him I didn’t think I could do that, but after a few days God had talked to me and I knew I was to get this going. This associate pastor whose name is Steve moved away a year later and I never heard from him again until 2 weeks ago.

I had received a message on messenger (connected to Facebook). It was from a name that sounded somewhat familiar but I couldn’t recall why. The message wanted to know if I remembered her? I asked for some clarification as to why I would know her. She said that she and her husband and small family had been part of Deer Flat Church 40+ years ago. It was then I recalled that she was the wife of Steve. That evening we communicated back and forth. In so doing I told her and Steve I’d written my autobiography. He had no idea of my past. He said he wanted to buy one but I told him I’d send him one.

Last night I was notified by Steve and his wife that the book had arrived. His wife said she was not going to bed until it was finished. They live now in Texas. Their words were that God had intended for us to reconnect after all of these years. Steve was the one who first challenged me to use the hurt of my divorce to help others with their own hurts. This eventually grew into what I get to do today with a much bigger part of my past’s hurt. God is so AMAZING!

Fall and Spring have much in common regarding the temperatures of the days: cool nights and warm days. The big difference is that in spring the days are growing longer and in fall, they are growing shorter. Either way, I enjoy the temperatures of both.

I had an early morning counseling call which replaced a face to face one. The young man had injured his eye and was not to drive. All is ok, but it made me late getting to my blog writing. I look forward to this day because there is nothing more planned in it except mowing the lawn later when the dew is gone.

Sometimes it is nice to simply relax in the beauty of the season. The weather is “perfect” in my eyes. (Kathy would beg to differ with mornings being as cool as they are). She says her perfect temperature is 74 degrees year round! Good luck finding that. Gardens need the seasons and I’m aligned with the gardens. With all that said, I’m headed into a quiet, calm day thanking God for it!

Today I’m meeting with my friend who has been my sponsor and I have been his for the past 10 years or so. He and his wife are moving to Arizona. I’m taking him to lunch to “sort of” say “good-by”. I know we will talk about a long distance sponsorship, but it sure won’t be the same as it has been for all these past years. What is truly amazing to me about his moving is the way I feel towards it.

For most of my life I have wondered why different ones I know would make such a big deal about friendships/family members moving away. I’d see them cry, hug and cry some more and I’d just shake my head thinking maybe they just want the other person to think they like them a lot. What I’ve learned of late, now that my relationship walls are gone and intimacy is beginning to grow within me, I ache inside knowing this dear friend is moving away. He knows all about me–things only Kathy knows and he still has been an intimate friend.

I love what God is doing in my life. I know now He has wanted me to know the loss of closeness with someone. He also reminds me that the distance is only temporary. Eternity will come!

I have written numerous times in the past months about the book, Freedom Starts Today. It is a 90 day journal and accountability structure which has provided a good deal of insights for myself as well as for the others using it. I am in the process of going through it for the second time. Each day one is to write a prayer of commitment to God regarding whatever topic (addiction/hurt/hang-up) you are addressing in your life at the time. One then gives this same message of commitment to their sponsor/accountability partner. As I’m going through this the 2nd time I’m using a post-it note to write my commitment and placing it over the one from 90 days ago. Today, as I began to write my commitment, I had a huge reminder to thank God and celebrate.

The devotional message of today was about the damage that old, deep roots can cause. The author illustrates this with an oak tree that was growing next to his home and the internal damage the roots were doing to his house’s structure. In order to address this he needed to not only cut down the tree but kill the roots. Only God’s Holy Spirit within us could perform such a surgery. I had been told in my past counseling that I may never be free of these roots within me due to the depth of them within. (I could write another book about this entire process).

In reading today’s message again I realized that God’s Spirit has been killing these deep roots within me. It has been a process of believing He cares enough for me to do this and I care enough for me that I can believe He will. I not only feel a freedom from temptation I’ve not known before, but I can also use this freedom to confront temptation and say that I don’t need to succumb to it. “Get thee hence Satan!” I can state this in confidence because Christ within me is my Rock like never before!