As I’ve started today I needed to clear my head regarding a counseling session I’ll have later this morning. So, I went through the materials ahead of getting into my devotions. I wanted to not have a disrupted devotional time with my mind flitting to the session. Thus, I’m later getting to my blog too.

What I wrote yesterday regarding the scripture in Ezekiel that tells me God will give me a new heart and will cleanse me, has always left me with hope, but with little belief. I’ve wanted my mind to be free of porn temptation which always tied to what I’d been told by two different counselors–“You may never be free of this and even submitting to it at times due to the depth of sexual sin done to you so early in your life.” Satan has used this lie for all of my years limiting my belief that I can be fully cleansed.

Having the talk with my son-in-law last Wednesday morning created a yearning within me for God to make this cleansing true for me. What has happened in the last two days is amazing! It has made me realize that my pride has stood in my way not wanting to admit the truth of my addiction even though I do talk often about it. I still fight my pride all the time. In addition to this, I hate admitting that a “leader” struggles like this. A deeper root was brought to light this morning. My 90-day devotional addressed the writer’s struggle with his addiction when he was in the depth of coming out of it. One night his own father came and laid in bed beside him during the night to keep him from slipping once again. His father’s love was received and deeply appreciated. When I read this, this time, I wept. I’ve begun to realize just how much my heavenly Father loves me and has been waiting for me to receive this love from Him with open arms. He has been right beside me all of the time. He also wants me to step out in His Love and fight the good fight that His Son Jesus has already won. I fight by declaring myself cleansed and believing it to be true. Today I stand in this truth and remind any temptation that I AM a child of the KING!