I want to start this morning’s entry with a note that my dear friend has made some progress since yesterday’s entry. If you’ve been praying–THANK YOU!

As I was journaling this morning and asked Jesus what He wanted me to know from Him for today, His message was very clear starting with this question: “Do you know how immense my love is for you?” I have to pause in writing as this point. The thought/truth of this question’s answer is simply overwhelming. Truth is, no, I have no idea how immense this love is. My mind can only comprehend this at a human level. At this point my mind wants to go into imagination. It is then that TRUST and FAITH kick in. My sinfulness is forgiven. My thoughts and temptations are obliterated, my selfish actions are removed. When all that is done, God sees Christ in me. Good grief, how is this possible? It is then I can only begin to see a touch of this love’s immensity!

As my relationship has grown in the understanding of God’s love and the immensity of it, I so want to live fully for Him. I say to myself, “I can’t ever accomplish this.” However, I hear Him instantly counter that with, “Yes, you can. Just remember that this only needs to be done one day at a time and one moment at a time.” God didn’t inspire the writing of The Serenity Prayer as a nice thought. It is something we can actually do. WOW! Our God is AMAZING!

Today is one of those mornings when you awake and the need to go back to sleep has vanished. Instead, I must get up and get the Folgers brewed. Yes, there has been much God has wanted me to process with Him. At the top of the list is the precious life of a dear friend whose life is hanging in the balance. She has been battling cancer for a couple of years. Now a life-threatening, bacterial infection has set in. She and her husband go to Reno, NV for the treatment at a center there, but she has been in the hospital since Monday due to complications with the chemo treatment. No one is ready for this friend to be gone from this earth, but, I know full well that man is not in charge of life’s duration on earth. I just want to be in this particular case! As I write this I also need to add that I do surrender this dear friend to YOU-Jesus. My faith, my trust is in You.

Yesterday I wrote about my/our need to open our arms and receive God’s love welcomingly. Each time I think of this, my mind instantly asks the question, “Are you worthy now?” I then have to remind myself that God has already loved me. I was worthy of God’s love first because He created me in my mother’s womb. I can welcome His Love for me in spite of what I’ve done and what’s been done to me. God has loved me all along.

This truth for me has become a valuable counseling tool. Yesterday a young couple who have been separated for about two months came for their second day session. In this time it came out that the young wife came from a very unloving childhood. While in her teen years she determined she was going to pave her own way in life and not repeat the steps her mom had put her through. In doing this, and because she had been successful breaking away from the grip of her childhood abuse, she needed everyone now connected to her life to be as strong and determined as she had needed to be. On the contrary, her husband had been raised in a loving christian home. There were no real difficulties he’d faced until now in their marriage. Giving and receiving love for him wasn’t even a thought.

As all of this came out in the counseling session I asked the young wife if she struggled to receive love? Her response opened her eyes as well as her young husband. She said, “I don’t know what receiving love is like.” I then asked if she stiff-armed attempts for receiving love rather than accepting attempts with open arms? She began to cry and said, “Yes”. This couple has a long ways to go, but God’s Light is finally shining into what has been a very dark closet tightly protected with lies. It’s so rewarding to see young people receive this Light that I didn’t find for myself until I was much older. God sure knows how to take any struggle and make it into a tool for His Kingdom work. I praise HIM for this!

Monday of this week I wrote a late entry for this blog. My site indicates it was not published even though I had hit published upon finishing the writing of it. In case you can’t find it, I want to let the reader know about the message of that day. The morning for me had been one bombarded with temptations to step into porn and not believe the truths about being a new creation. A short time later I needed to get ready for a doctor’s appointment. It was then I received a text from my prayer warrior Lois. It simply said that she was nudged earlier that morning to pray for me specifically for the armor of God to be mine. I was overcome with the truth of God’s Love for me with that message. Yesterday I went to meet with Lois to personally thank her for the message and for being so obedient to God and His nudges to her. (Lois is 92 years old). Lois beamed and thanked me for coming by and letting her know this.

I have spent a lifetime trying to “be good enough” for God’s Love. This event I’ve just described has emphasized for me that it is time for me to open my arms and receive the LOVE God wants me to know, believe and trust is already mine. All that I have done and now do in His Name is good, but His Love precedes all of this. He wants me to be obedient, but that is an entirely different item from His Love for me. His Love motivates me to “stay the course”.

The other thing that hits me about this is that this message is not a selfish/egotistical one (as my father would have said). It is the genuine reality of God for you and me. Satan doesn’t want any of us to know God so intimately, but God is faithful not letting this evil one interfere with our walk with Him. PRAISE GOD!

There is a lesson God is wanting me to spend a good deal more time putting into place in my day to day living. Months ago I was nudged by God’s Spirit to write EYES ON CHRIST ALONE at the top of my prayer list with the accompanying note in parentheses (King of kings). I thought I’d been doing ok with this until Sunday morning. Our sermon that morning and the main message of the Sunday School class was the same: following Christ alone means doing what man says only if it aligns with God’s Spirit within me. Too often we take man’s advice as though it completes what we think God is telling us. At this point we need to be certain that God’s Spirit is confirming whatever man’s message is. This message truly helps me see where I’m placing my trust and reliance.

God is wanting to grow our relationship with Him, His Son and Holy Spirit by listening and staying tuned into His Spirit within us. So often I’ve allowed my emotions to determine a confirming message I’ve chosen to follow. The Holy Spirit’s confirmation doesn’t necessarily align with emotional response. I want to spend a good deal more time growing into this level of Trust/Faith in my daily walk. Keeping my eyes on Christ alone means listening to His Spirit within and never taking these nudges as suggestions only–they are given to us to obey.

This post is quite late getting written. Earlier I was writing an article for our church newsletter that is sent out weekly through email. The purpose was to let the congregation know of some volunteer needs for Celebrate Recovery. For those fairly new to the congregation it was to give background for the ministry also. This led to me losing track of time and this.

I’m now sitting in a doctor’s office waiting my turn. I’m quite early giving me ample time to get this written. I got up early this morning with all of this on my mind. The enemy had his own agenda trying to interfere with everything I wanted to do. I was feeling somewhat discouraged when I received a text message from my prayer warrior Lois. She said for some reason she was burdened for me this morning and had been praying Gods armor was mine today. She went onto say she had no idea what was on my plate today but I needed to know Gods armor was fully in place!

It just reminds me how much God cares and how important it is to let folks know you care for them!

The freedom found in Christ is amazing, but I am learning that there is no freedom without cost. For Christ, the freedom He gave us, cost his life, yet He rose again paving the way for us to have eternal life with Him. For us, this freedom will cost us giving up our selfish desires and pride so that we obey what His Word tells us and His Spirit nudges us.

Recently, I along with 4 others, started a new study which has a scripture to memorize each session along with other learning. This first scripture was Matthew 22:36-38. “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law? Jesus replied, ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment.'”

I have never wanted to be a selfish person. But, being as old as I am, I find all sorts of selfishness cropping up in my daily living. In spite of this selfishness and pride, I do love my Lord and Savior with all of my heart, soul and mind. For me to know the Freedom Christ offer, I need to show this love I have for Christ in how I live it out each day. Freedom has a cost for the one giving it and it then has the cost for the one receiving it in order to recognize the value of it. Living in Christ’s freedom He offers has immense joy. Watching others grow in their own walk with Christ is one of the most precious gifts one could ever receive.

Having freedom from the bondage of abuse, and now seeing others find their own freedom from their bondage is a priceless gift for me. My cost was letting my selfish pride finally surrender what I didn’t want anyone else to know about me, only to find how God was wanting to use it for His purposes. Loving the Lord seemed such a huge risk when I needed to seek my counsel/therapy. However, in so doing, I find today the gift of JOY!

A young man I see on Saturday mornings has been coming for a year now. When he first began he had attempted suicide and only as God does, was stopped because his wife who was on the job had called one of his brothers to check on him. Well, a year later he is a much more stable young man. His struggles are those “common to man”. A week ago after our session I was prompted by God’s Spirit to write a post-it note in his file so I’d remember to ask him this week what were the positive things that had taken place for him in the week. We actually met last night instead of this morning due to his work schedule right now. So, last night I asked him the question. It was amazing all of the things he brought out about himself. It had little or nothing to do with his work, it was simply things he noticed about himself and the joy he’s finding being a child of God. His facial expressions were priceless as he spoke of these moments.

I know that God nudges us to do things and I do try to do what He nudges me to do. Last night’s obedience in asking a simple question was amazing. He left the session with a brightness in his step and I left the session feeling very joyful. God sure knows His children!

If you have been reading the last couple of entries in this blog, you will read that I taught our Celebrate Recovery lesson–POWERLESS last night. The lesson emphasizes the fact that we are powerless to address our hurts, hang-ups and/or habits on our own strength. We may be able to address them for a period of time, but they will return. Only in surrendering our inability to God can we find the healing strength He offers us.

I have taught this lesson in previous years and heard it many more. We have been operating our CR for 16 years so this lesson is certainly not new to me. What is new to me this morning is the reality of me being powerless. The hurts of my past have been largely healed through great help from God and His human servants called christian counselors. But I have a great hang-up called pride. I’ve never wanted to be powerless thinking if I were I’d be powerless to control my behavior and I’d end up being like my dad and/or brother. As I was journaling all of this earlier God pointed out very clearly that no one any longer in my life even knows dad or my brother. They only know me. God wants Earnie to reflect Him through His Holy Spirit living in me. Take my eyes off of dad and my brother and transfix them onto His Son Jesus.

I’ve always wanted to live only for Jesus. I’ve stayed in denial to the reality that my “want/efforts” looked much more like me than like Jesus. So today I’m very much awake to my powerlessness. I’ve surrendered it all. I also know that this reality is something I will need to do daily. Just as God is with me today, only in today can I surrender my pride. Tomorrow I’ll be of the flesh until I surrender it as the day begins. The great beauty in all of this is that in surrendering I am provided a strength never known until it’s done. Wow!

Today as part of my devotional time I’ve finished the book Freedom Starts Today for the second time. Day 90 of the devotions addresses God’s sole purpose for sending Christ to be our Savior and Lord. The author demonstrates this by drawing a Cross. Above the cross write Given For. Below the cross write Forgiven. For the first time I see that Christ was given-for us to be for-given.

Tonight I am teaching the Celebrate Recovery lesson called Powerless. The lesson ties to Principle One in our recovery which states: “Realize I’m not God. I admit that I am powerless to control my tendency to do the wrong thing and that my life is unmanageable.” The verse supporting the principle is Matthew 5:3, “Happy are those who are spiritually poor.” I looked up spiritually poor this morning during my devotional time to see what the experts said about it. It said, “To be poor in spirit is to recognize your utter spiritual bankruptcy before God.” There is nothing I can do from my own spirit/drive/efforts for I will fail on my own.

Tying today’s lesson in the book stated in the first paragraph to the lesson on Powerless is amazing. Christ was given to us by God to forgive what I cannot do on my own–be sinless. By accepting Christ into my life God sees Christ’s work on the Cross for me rather than seeing my sin and my powerless efforts to be sinless. This is what Christ was given for–so you and I could be FORGIVEN! What GRACE this is!