This morning it seems that all of what’s been happening caught up with me. I slept an extra hour and even then that sense of overwhelm was hitting me. Just as God always does (and how He does it is still a mystery) but, the words of the devotionals and His Word spoke volumes to me. Helping Kathy, supporting her, being here for her is first and foremost. However, He doesn’t mean for me to abandon what He intends for me to do with Him in the ministry He gives. In my flesh I can get easily overwhelmed. However, God reminds me that in my flesh I am weak, but walking this path one day at a time, I have Him and His Almighty Strength within. The other thing too: He is so kind in letting me know this!

Yesterday’s therapy session for Kathy was wonderful in that the therapist was very thorough in assessing Kathy’s needs and helping us know how to support at home. I also expressed to her my concern about leaving Kathy alone if I continue the counseling at our church. She could easily see that Kathy’s walking was good and her stability is normal with no dizziness, etc. So when I expressed my concern she asked, “Do you think your presence would keep a second stroke from occurring?” Kathy had already told me she didn’t want me to stop the counseling I’m doing. She was ok being alone at our home for periods of time. I just couldn’t see doing this. I felt like I was abandoning her and her needs. The therapist simply said that Kathy could text me each hour with a word or two or just a smiley face indicating all is well. I am only 1.5 miles from home.

My insecurities were screaming at me this morning about what I’m to do. So when I was journaling I told Jesus all about these fears. He simply reminded me that I could trust the wisdom I’m given. He uses His people to give His wisdom. I didn’t need to question it, I just needed to follow it. Then in my Bible reading in II Corinthians 4, I’m reminded, “But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellence of the power may be of God and not of us.” Kathy’s earthen vessel has been damaged, but inside it is the treasure of God for which I love and God cares for. What a great reminder! I keep saying, GOD IS SO GOOD!

Almost all of the therapies are now scheduled for December with the first one this afternoon. I was very grateful they could work us in so quickly. There is one more to schedule and hopefully it will get done this morning. With Kathy’s sis here I will go ahead with some of the counseling sessions and rebook those that conflict with therapy for I want to be present for them so I can support at home what they are doing.

My morning devotion had a message that I once again wondered how God’s timing brought it out just at the right time. It said in part, “…The Bible instructs me to give thanks for everything. I see an element of mystery in this transaction–I give You thanks regardless of my feelings and You give me JOY regardless of my circumstances. This is a spiritual act of obedience–at times, blind obedience. Thanking You for heart-rending hardships can seem irrational or even impossible. But, I’ve learned that when I obey You in this way, I am blessed, even though difficulties remain.”

Today I thank God for all that is transpiring in my and our lives. God uses this to grow us and when I thank Him, I find the joy of peace that only He can offer when I surrender. Wow, God is AMAZING!

I feel as though this blog is turning into a reporting mechanism for my wife Kathy’s progress. She is stable and I’m attempting to get all of her therapy needs scheduled. Her sis is coming later today for the week which makes Kathy very happy even though you just see a smile and hear “that’s nice” from her mouth. It is amazing the emotions one feels when their loved one has this type of need. I want to take care of every need she has! Yet, this morning my devotional said, “Having needs doesn’t make one weak, it makes one human.” I don’t know how God orchestrates such timing as this, but reading these words this morning just brought me to tears. I was feeling that sense of being weak not knowing how to care for Kathy as she might need.

God is so AMAZING and I know I write this often, however, it is simply TRUE!

I’ve always thought I handle tragic moments fairly well. I seem to instantly steel emotions and jump into action that needs to be addressed. This has been true through my career in education and with family members who were critically ill or passed away. However, when someone you love–friend or family–ask how you are doing or you just hear their kind, concerned voice, I lose it.

I’ve always known my wife Kathy has been a gift from God to me. It is easy to love someone you know has been a gift like this. Love, on the other hand, has been something I’ve kept somewhat superficial when it is intended just for me. I easily love my kids, grandkids and many friends, but to receive it is another thing. However, these past couple of days have been a genuine awakening for me in both opening myself to love in showing it for my wife and receiving it from others who care.

God is just never done helping one grow more and more into the person He created us to be. I do love our Heavenly Father!

So the journey continues with unexpected outcomes. As we delved into the Black Friday shopping yesterday early morning, I got a call from my oldest daughter who was with Kathy and the granddaughters. Kathy was acting very strange which had been somewhat noticed that morning and even the evening before. We all met at the hospital only to find that she had had a stroke. All of us were at the hospital all day yesterday as they ran many, many tests. My youngest daughter and I spent the night with her in the hospital so I write this in her room as she is quietly sleeping.

The stroke seems to have centered in the part of the brain where language is handled along with thinking. Her symptoms have no paralysis, only confusion and the lack of ability to express herself, unable to find words that fit what she wanted to say. She was also quite unaware that she was even struggling.

This morning as I had my devotional time God reminded me that He will use all things as I surrender them to Him. He has already used this time to bring some family together that were keeping themselves distant. I told God I knew Kathy and I both would thank Him for using this moment in time to strengthen our family’s unity. God is so AMAZING and I never want to lose sight of this!

Today’s journey has a major goal to complete–taking grandsons black Friday shopping! As soon as I complete this entry I’ll be waking each of them. They spent the night so we could get our early start. We have been doing this for over 20 years. Kathy takes the granddaughters and I take the grandsons. It is always a fun moment in time and then comes the nap later in the day!

Yesterday was so enjoyable with the laughter and joy of everyone seeing our oldest grandson who had flown in from his station in the Air Force. He had only told grandma and me since he stays with us when he comes. God is so GOOD!

The joy of family, the anticipation of the glorious meal today provides, the happiness of grandkids laughing and playing with one another–all of this and more only begins the list of THANKS today provides. I can’t even begin to write all that my thanks would list as I’d begin to describe my glorious thanks for Christ Jesus, His patient work in my life, His Holy Spirit’s constant guidance and in all this, leading me to my Heavenly Father Who intimately loves me and created me for love and purpose.

I spent 50 years working in the field of education. I have no regrets for any of that work. I loved every moment of it. Deep within me I always hoped it would be enough to be worthwhile for Jesus’ love for me. Today, getting to serve Jesus through this counseling program, seeing and experiencing people’s hope returning in their lives, watching bondage disappear and be replaced with freedom is nothing but an amazing miracle. Only God Himself knew how to take one’s bondage and turn it into His tool to be used for His glory! This is my greatest THANKS for today–this day of THANKSGIVING!

I don’t know about you who are reading this, but I find myself wondering how to express the gratitude in my heart for all that God has done for me. Last night we had close friends come for the evening. One of them is losing ground due to her cancer. In spite of one’s aching heart, we laughed over and over as we played games we all love. As I began to journal this morning I didn’t know how to pray for this friend. All of us want her to live! Yet, all of us know this decision is in the hands of our loving God. He reminded me of the heartache of sinful flesh and death is the final straw of its effect on us. The glory of life beyond this flesh is so much more rewarding. It is only in selfishness we would want someone to stay in their flesh. Experiencing the reality of this once again, I am able to adjust my prayers to “Thy will be done”.

The JOY of the Lord is our Strength! This Thanksgiving season I want only to find this JOY in all circumstances. Knowing all that is going on in our own lives as well as the lives of our world will someday end and Christ will reign supreme, is the foundation of today’s JOY. I’m staying in this awareness this season of Giving Thanks!

There are days when I am at the point in my journaling and ask Jesus what he wants for me to know this day, He asks me the question, “Is it well with your soul?” I’m always a little taken back with the question for He already knows the answer, it is I who doesn’t know at the moment. Yet, He wants me to know. This morning I could honestly say that it is well with my soul. My soul is very grateful for the friends who arrived yesterday to stay with us for most of the week. They have been gone for 8 years and it is so nice to have them here for this little while.

Secondly, I am so grateful for Lois, my prayer warrior. I went to see her yesterday afternoon to update her on a couple of the ones coming for counsel. She diligently prays for them and these two have had recent breakthroughs I wanted her to know about. I also wanted her to know about the help I’d had last week with the two troubling events I had come to mind while taking this class on-line. I still revel in the miraculous way God showed Himself in it. Sharing this with Lois, I could still sense the awe of the moment. It also gave me the assurance that there is nothing God doesn’t care about in our lives. I can use this technique with others who need to find freedom from past trauma. His timing is always perfect in providing His help if I will “wait on the Lord”.

This is the season for Thanksgiving. I raise my arms reaching out to heaven in gratitude to our Wonderful Savior and Lord! “Give thanks with a grateful heart!”