As I wrote in yesterday’s blog, we had the session to address some lingering issues untouched by the counseling/therapy in past years. There were two of these which stood out. Number one was the beating my brother received when I first told my father of my brother’s use of me and 2nd was my brother’s drowning, In both cases, I carried the responsibility for their taking place. Rich would never have had that beating if I hadn’t told. Secondly, in Matthew 18:6 if anyone causes one of these little ones to stumble, it is better for them to be drowned in the depths of the sea. I’ve struggled to not own Rich’s actions as something about me which attracted him to me. I firmly know in my head the truth of these lies, but Rich had issues and I always wanted to be stronger than Rich’s issues. I just wasn’t.

In the session yesterday we addressed finding God in each of these two events–something I hadn’t done in previous therapy. I was amazed to find the punishment of the beating as my dad’s pride and anger issue which Rich endured. Yes, I witnessed it, but that’s all. The drowning showed me something that amazed me. There were three angels who came to Rich while he struggled. They assured him he was headed “home” and they were there to escort him. (Even now this almost takes my breath away as I’ve feared tremendously the agony of his drowning). Dad and Rich are both there in heaven and they embraced one another affectionately because their old self’s are dead and buried.

Today, I simply feel free. I have been here before with much thanksgiving. Today however, there’s a deep settled peace in my soul. I know today that this peace is found today, one day at a time. I will claim this victory each day as Satan might try to re-enter what Christ has cleansed and replaced with Himself and The Holy Spirit. God never stops helping us grow into more of His likeness. How grateful I am!