This morning at 9:00 am we lay our friend Penny to rest. At 11:00 am we will have her celebration of life at our church followed by a dinner. The last time I lost a friend of Penny’s significance to me was before I had the years of counseling and therapy. When he died (also of cancer) I fought being angry with God and with man. I just couldn’t figure out why God would take such a blessed man from this earth. He was important down here. 

Today as I process Penny’s celebration of life I see it very differently. I see for the first time for me the battle between God’s Spirit within me and the flesh I live in. My flesh is so selfish. I don’t want the beauty/joy of this earthly life to change. My spirit knows this change is coming and is coming for me someday. I rejoice for Penny’s eternal home and continuous presence of Jesus, I see my flesh hurting and I will acknowledge it and express it. I don’t need to be angry with God for I see Penny’s passing through much clearer spiritual eyes this time. 

I will miss Penny’s laugh and joyous spirit. I will miss the beauty she always created with her gorgeous floral arrangements. I will miss having her and Dave together and the fun they always created. However, I see a glimpse of a heavenly celebration Penny is experiencing at this very moment, one I will join in God’s timing, and I rejoice with tears of loss, but also with tears of joy generated by a trust/confidence in our Father God I didn’t have those 15 years ago.