In a counseling session with a young man yesterday I asked him if he has a friend who doesn’t need him? He is a very kind and caring person who has a knack for seeing people’s needs and befriends them. When I asked him this question he was silent for a longer than usual period of time. When he looked up at me he said, “I guess not.”

I had approached this subject with him because I saw my younger self in him. All through my childhood years through high school I made it my practice to befriend the underdog. For me they were safe and “I could help them”. I knew everyone fairly well in my small class, but only called “these few” my friends. In my senior year of high school two guys began to always sit on each side of me in choir. They were great students and greatly involved in sports and leadership. Yet, they chose to sit on each side of me each day. At one point they told me they wanted to learn from me. I was overwhelmed with this. That night as I lay in bed I quietly sobbed. I’d never felt value before from a peer and all I could do was weep with joy at the feeling this gave me.

I shared this story with the young man and challenged him to let himself be a friend to someone who doesn’t need him, but just wants to be his friend. It is great to help those in need, but when we do it for value’s sake, it puts a different meaning behind it. God has already created us with value and purpose. I lived a long time before I knew this. It is a joy to help others find this for themselves.