I went to see my prayer warrior Lois yesterday morning. Even though I’d written in yesterday’s blog that I had surrendered to God the young man’s need knowing I was not the healer, God is. Even knowing this I was still troubled. As I was talking this through with Lois, there were three things which she said I needed to write down connecting to the turmoil within me. First, this young man is very passionate about wanting to serve God well. So item number one was: “Have you surrendered your passion?” Who is determining what the outcome of passion in work should look like?
The second item ties to number one. This question is: “Are you trying to do the work of God’s Holy Spirit in addition to what your part is?” It is so easy to want to complete a work assignment like work would be completed if one is working with objects that don’t have a mind of their own.
The third one is: “Do you see where your assignment ends and one’s TRUST in The Holy Spirit begins?” In the biography of Mother Teresa, there is a story told to demonstrate her devout trust. Her relationship with God and obeying His nudges through God’s Holy Spirit within her seemed completely understood and obedient. Her confidence in God’s Holy Spirit demonstrated her passion and trust in their relationship. She knew to do her part and was confident that God would do His part. She had grown in her relationship to not only trust, but to know when her part was done.
All of this has been a wonderful learning experience for me. I heard God’s Spirit this morning reminding me to keep my eyes and ears onto Him. It is good to know what Mother Teresa did, but my relationship with God isn’t hers, He wants it to be His and mine.
There are mornings which are troubling and today is one of them. Yesterday had a troubling session with a young man I’ve worked with in Celebrate Recovery as well as in counseling. He is stuck and (I was too). So much of his struggle has to do with thinking we ought to be able to make any change from our own strength. He is a very disciplined young man and extremely responsible as well. This is noted in every aspect of his life. So, why would one struggle with such good characteristics?
The question comes to mind–“Who is managing these good characteristics, man or God?” My devotional message seemed to hit the spot today. A quote from it said, “God has a good purpose for every situation and stressor you encounter. THis may appear odd to you today if your life is especially busy, painful, or out of control. But understand, there are no coincidences with Him. He is the Architect behind every blessing that comes your way–and many times that begins with helping you understand how weak you are on your own.”
It is a daily commitment to surrender our will to God. I don’t care how good our characteristics are. In our own strength, they will fail at some point and Satan always uses this to manipulate our thinking that we are a failure. It is then one recalls that God is teaching another lesson on surrender. This happens to me so often. Trying to help someone else recognize this–well it is another thing to surrender. God is the GREAT LIGHT, I just need to point to Him and surrender the rest. I did that this morning as I sent this devotional message to the young man.
I wrote yesterday about the bondage I kept inside me and using it to measure the ugliness of sin. If I didn’t think my sin was as ugly as dad’s or my brother I would confess it and still feel ok that I wasn’t like either of them. As I awakened through years of counseling to let them own their own sins and my responsibility that I needed to address my own as just mine, reality took a big turn. I could talk about sins done to me and sins I committed. I could do this without bondage and without comparison.
Yesterday afternoon a gentleman who was only having his second session talked about his troubled childhood. A couple things he talked about had only been told to his wife. He couldn’t look up as he told them to me, he was so ashamed. Of course, he couldn’t see my face but I was smiling. I was thinking, my word, this poor man has held this shame all of these years. If he only knew how many others of us have gone through very similar pasts.
Later in his session I asked if we could go back to the “shame” he mentioned earlier? He said that would be ok. As we did I shared with him how long this “very similar shame” had held me in bondage in my past. His eyes widened as he realized he was not alone in this. Our past can keep us in such bondage and shame which Satan loves. But, just simply opening up to someone we trust lets the Light of Glory shine on these ugly lies. From this Light we begin to see hope and freedom on the horizon. God is SO GOOD!
Today I reenter the sessions of counseling. With all of the activities last week having our grandson here it was as though I was on vacation even though I did do counseling. I guess my mind was more on the time with family–(have to admit it). This morning I awoke with a start that I need to get myself ready. All that meant was reminding myself who I see today. Once that was done by checking my phone calendar, I could relax.
It is an odd awakening to have the freedom from the bondage of my past. I’ve written many times about my brother and my dad being my barometer for living a “good life”. Now that I don’t do that so much, I find myself seeing the actual self I am. I am not a “better sinner” than my dad or brother. I am a sinner just as they were. We are all sinners saved by God’s Grace He bestows on us when we accept Christ into our lives.
For much of my life having accepted Christ into my life as a boy, I never felt that cleansing people talked about. I know now that I had carried the sin done to me as though it were me. I couldn’t be cleansed from sin I couldn’t confess. Once I was able to let dad have his own sins and my brother the same, I found freedom from that bondage while at the same time I began to see my own sinfulness not in rank order to dad or my brother. The other beauty in this is seeing Christ’s forgiveness and cleansing for me. I lived a long time with this confusion, but today I am a sinner saved by Grace–God’s Grace and I am free! Praise God!
This morning started quite early needing to have my grandson to the airport by 6:00 am. It has been a wonderful time having him here. Some specific prayer requests we had were given strong evidence that God is working for which we praise God! I had already journaled before heading to the airport thanking God for His endless support and love.
While I was driving home from the airport I got a text message. I was on the freeway with hardly any traffic. When I saw who it was from I began to read it. In so doing I once again was reminded how much Satan hates seeing God’s successes with His kids. So, just as he is predictable, this text was telling how he has been working in another area to stop any praise going to God. As I got home I responded to the text and now I’m needing to write this out. God is FAITHFUL and Satan is HATEFUL. I know Christ has already defeated sin and this child of God Satan is tormenting will see the Light of God again soon. So before I do anything else, I’m praising God for the return of this temporarily lost soul.
GOD IS GOOD all the time–All the time GOD IS GOOD!
These past many days have been ones for which I’ve seen God working. In some ways it has been His working with people who are struggling and God has given them Light and Hope. For some others God has given them strength. Yet for others He has truly given them blessings beyond what they’d expected or hoped. I’ve been able to witness these and rejoice in my heart and with them. Personally, for me, it is each morning when I see daylight emerging and the spring life is showing up all around me. Each day my heart rejoices as this takes place. There just aren’t words I can place here that display this sentiment. It is a peace and joy that wells up within me.
We have so much to be thankful for. This Memorial Weekend may we rejoice for the blessings God has provided. In spite of present turmoil, God is GOOD! Psalms 25:14 says: “The Lord confides in those who fear Him; He makes His covenant known to them.” This is one of those verses I’ve had underlined for years. To think God confides in us is amazing! What a privilege and honor it is to serve Him and have His Spirit within us! Lets give Him PRAISE this day!
My devotional this morning reminded me again of the truth that God is never done pruning us. It is as though the author of it knows my life history. He writes that the areas of past struggles which left wounds and scars will be pruned away if we allow God to do His work in us. He wants us to be productive for Him which means obedient to His nudges. Well, God has been pruning me for many, many years and I know He isn’t done. The author says it may be painful at times, but the aftermath is well worth the temporary pain.
It is amazing to read something as though it were written by you or by someone who knows you intimately. This author is actually in heaven I believe. But, the real author who inspired this writing does know me intimately and He also knows you the same. The message that fits me to the tee is, I’m sure, fitting any reader the same. I love how God never gives up on all of us for He created us “fearfully and wonderfully” and He wants us fearfully and wonderfully productive for Him. So, pruning becomes critically important for this kind of productivity to take place.
I am reading through the Psalms presently in my devotional time. Today I came to Psalms 20 where I have kept a note sent to me almost 45 years ago. A dear friend had sent it to me in early August. It was simply these two verses from the chapter, Ps 20:4&5. “May he give you the desire of your heart and make all your plans succeed. We will shout for joy when you are victorious and will lift up our banners in the name of our God. May the Lord grant all your requests.”
This friend was in another state working a summer job. He had no idea my wife at the time had just informed me of the news she was divorcing me. I thought someone had to of informed him even though at that point no one even knew of this except my wife and me. Weeks later when he was home I asked him how he knew? He just said he was driving the combine when God put it on his heart to send me these two verses so he did it. The note was just the two verses and his signature.
I have kept this note along with a few others God has used this friend to support me at those moments when one feels so alone. I was 29 years old at the time this took place. No one knew anything about my past or about my soon to end marriage. Yet, God knew a faithful friend who would be obedient to His nudge. There was a sliver of hope given to me the day I opened this letter and read the short but powerful message. I didn’t have any substance at the time supporting this hope other than God knew and He must care, maybe a little?
This tiny sliver of hope has turned into a ministry of using all God has done to plant seeds of hope for others who are caught as I was in the lies of disbelief. How loving our Father God is and how grateful I am for this!
Yesterday I wrote about a situation I was addressing and it was just as Jesus would have it. The other person joining me and I prayed together over this home and its occupants. Jesus did all of the rest and what a touching experience it turned out to be. I went into the afternoon thinking it would be the same as the morning had been with Jesus taking care of each client as they came.
The first couple of sessions in the afternoon were good ones and Jesus was very present. As the next was approaching (which was a reschedule from the day before) I saw another client in the hall which triggered something I’d set aside. This client was there because her parents were coming so we could address some abuse which had been hidden for years. I had double booked the time! I hadn’t put the one client on my calendar because she wasn’t sure her parents would come so I was waiting to hear. She had contacted me a couple of days later they were coming, but I neglected to then put it on my calendar. I quickly told the rescheduled man I’d have to see him next week which he seemed fine knowing he’d forgotten his actual time the day before.
The session with the parents was difficult at best and I had nothing prepared for it except my thoughts. The father wanted to hear “loving forgiveness” and the daughter needed to express 25 years of squelched hurt. Mom sat quietly for the most part. It did end with an understanding that reconciliation was going to take time and we needed to accept the truth that childhood abuse is not a one session event. Everyone walked away agreeing to continue.
This morning I was lamenting to God my blunder in calendaring this session. Yet, when I asked Jesus what He wanted me to know for today, He immediately reminded me He wanted to be in charge of yesterday’s session. I know if I’d remembered I’d have prepped very differently for the way it turned out. Jesus needed to be in charge, not me. It was another good wake-up. What I called my blunder, Jesus said was on purpose. What parents heard, He can now work with them on it. All I can say is that JESUS IS AMAZING!
Today’s journey is taking me into a situation I’ve not done but a very few times and never led. A young mother who comes for counseling is seeking freedom from an evil presence in her home. There is a story behind this which I won’t go into here. So, a co-leader in Celebrate Recovery and I are going to this young lady’s home this morning to pray deliverance from this evil.
Last night as I was going to bed I anticipated I would sleep fitfully due to today’s assignment. However, as I got into bed I prayed for Jesus’ to go ahead of us and cleanse this home with His Presence. That is the last thing I recall of the evening. I awoke this morning at 4:22 having slept 6+ hours without any awakenings. I almost always awaken at least a couple of times before this even though I go right back to sleep. It was as though God just brought a deep sleep coupled with a deep assurance of Him taking charge.
Not so long ago I would be willing to do something like this as long as there was someone else leading who I saw as worthy of leading. Today, I wouldn’t say I feel worthy of doing this. Instead, what I know for sure is the worthiness of Jesus Christ to cast out all evil in His Name. We do not go alone into this assignment for Jesus has already declared Himself as Victor of all evil’s attempts to discourage a young mom of 4 kids. Jesus Christ is LORD of all–our assignment is to BELIEVE.
Earnie Lewis 