Today I reenter the sessions of counseling. With all of the activities last week having our grandson here it was as though I was on vacation even though I did do counseling. I guess my mind was more on the time with family–(have to admit it). This morning I awoke with a start that I need to get myself ready. All that meant was reminding myself who I see today. Once that was done by checking my phone calendar, I could relax.

It is an odd awakening to have the freedom from the bondage of my past. I’ve written many times about my brother and my dad being my barometer for living a “good life”. Now that I don’t do that so much, I find myself seeing the actual self I am. I am not a “better sinner” than my dad or brother. I am a sinner just as they were. We are all sinners saved by God’s Grace He bestows on us when we accept Christ into our lives.

For much of my life having accepted Christ into my life as a boy, I never felt that cleansing people talked about. I know now that I had carried the sin done to me as though it were me. I couldn’t be cleansed from sin I couldn’t confess. Once I was able to let dad have his own sins and my brother the same, I found freedom from that bondage while at the same time I began to see my own sinfulness not in rank order to dad or my brother. The other beauty in this is seeing Christ’s forgiveness and cleansing for me. I lived a long time with this confusion, but today I am a sinner saved by Grace–God’s Grace and I am free! Praise God!