As I began to journal this morning I started to write how much I love Jesus. And, that is true! I then quickly started to reflect onto yesterday to thank Jesus for it. It was then I recalled a couple of instances which had not re-entered my mind as of yet. The one happened to be my last counseling session before I went to our Celebrate Recovery worship practice. This session was intended to be an opportunity for a father who had sexually abused his daughter many years ago, now begin to rebuild a long, sought after, loving relationship which the daughter longed to have. Amends and forgiveness had been stated in previous sessions. What took place, however, only deepened old wounds. Selfishness reared its ugly head. The session needed to end which it did.

The session reminded me of my own attempt 30+ years ago to have my own dad face his abuse to his kids. He had asked me why none of the kids ever came to see him? They seemed only interested in their mom. I opened the topic of his controlling/beatings abuse to us while we were growing up and he should apologize for it. I won’t go into all that happened subsequent to this, but dad did what he’d always done and made me the mockery only deepening the wounds in his kids. One of my brothers had said to me afterwards, “Earnie, when will you ever learn that dad isn’t going to change? You need to accept that and quit trying.”

Yesterday I needed to share with a saddened daughter a similar statement. Yes, nothing is impossible with God. However, we can never lose sight that God granted choice to man. God longs for reconciliation to take place, but God never insists for He has granted choice. This father wanted to determine what his daughter’s forgiveness should look like not taking a look at his own flesh.

God reminded me this morning that I can now let this go. I have done my part and now all of this is in His court. It doesn’t feel good, but then life doesn’t always feel good all the time–a tough reality. Only God in His infinite ways knows how to deal with all of this. I surrender this to Him.