Last night was our kickoff for Celebrate Recovery’s start of year 17. It was a great evening with short testimonies of what the ministry has done for them. I think the most common expression was centered around the fact that CR is not only a safe place to share whatever is on one’s heart, but it is also a place where one senses the fullness of family. Support is there, nurture is found as one goes through their struggle and each and everyone who stays through this time of struggle ends up finding the greatest Gift of all–freedom from their bondage as only can be found through Jesus Christ and the desire to share this freedom with those who need to know there is hope for themselves.
This morning I’m taking one of our young men to breakfast. He is one who found freedom in his earlier years of attendance but has had a couple of very troubling experiences which have left him with a great sense of loss and worthlessness. He’s very quiet so I’m hoping and praying that he will be able to find words in a different environment. God knows all of this and I pray we can break through some of this torment as we meet.
God’s timing is sure never mine. I have learned the value of struggles and I sure know the pain of going through them. God will use this man and his strife, I know, but watching him struggle is not easy. This I give to God in prayer. God is always, always trustworthy and I place my trust in HIM.
After my devotional time yesterday and writing the blog entry, I called my prayer warrior and went to see her. She is 92 years old and still vibrant in character and her walk with God. I was able to share with her regarding those needing extra prayer in our counseling sessions and my own personal needs. As we concluded the time I embraced her and told her she was the mom God gifted me with who can not only hear the concerns of my heart, but will guide me and model Godly living. I longed to have these conversations in my younger years with my own mom, but dad would always interfere wanting a male visitor to be only with him. Those days are gone, but the present days are gifts God provides and I thank Him for them.
Tonight we will be kicking off the start of our 17th year for Celebrate Recovery. How I love and thank God for this ministry. My own life has changed dramatically due to God’s use of it and I’ve witnessed scores of individuals who now walk a confident walk with God. What a privilege and honor this all is.
Yesterday’s post about my temptations has been an issue for me all of my life and I suppose temptation is something every person has to deal with throughout their own lives. The greatest struggle in this for me has been that my temptations are directly tied to the sexual abuse from my brother. I have pled with God to remove them, but they still exist and I’m pretty sure I know why–Satan has a hayday with them and me. Well, this morning God’s Spirit opened my ears to a message I needed to hear and believe. This message was, “Allow yourself to finally finish grieving the childhood loss you experienced. Grieving is like a broom sweeping out all the ugliness abuse left in your heart’s room.”
In several of my counseling sessions I process the importance of letting oneself grieve. Little did I understand my own importance of letting myself finish grieving what my own counseling addressed over and over and over again. For me though, I’ve always thought I was weak when I allowed myself to grieve, but my flesh needed it so I’d let out the burst of hurt each counseling session created. Then, I could be strong again. All this time God has patiently waited for me to come to His purpose in giving us the STRENGTH of grieving. For the first time this morning I saw my own self sweeping out the last of the abuse’s ugliness.
The beauty of this is something overwhelming to me–God’s Holy Spirit can now bring in my heart’s room the truth that THE JOY OF THE LORD IS MY STRENGTH! How can joy ever replace abuse’s hurt? Well, it can and it does once we let ourselves finish grieving.
It isn’t unusual to hear that when someone is doing God’s Work they will have greater temptations to deal with. When someone is telling me this for themselves it is easy to see. When it is happening to yourself, well, it is not so easy. Dealing with temptation is “common to man” as I Corinthians 10:13 tells us. So, I’ve always just chalked temptations up to this. However, the thing I’m not so good at doing is confessing strong moments of it. I think it is another one of those pride things. I can easily see that my dad gave in to temptations as well as my brother did. So, if I confess any temptations I battle, I’ll be no different than they were. Then, as I write this out I can easily see that my brother was who he was, my dad was who he was and I am who I am. All that now being written, we are simply men who deal with temptations that are common to man.
I write this out because I have dealt with a couple of days where this is the battle for me. I already can smile just getting this out in the open. Thank YOU JESUS!
Today my 2nd oldest grandson turns 21. I’m headed in to town to take him for a breakfast/lunch in a short while. He is such a good young man with a heart of gold. He and I have been good buddies for his entire life. He is the one who always lends a helping hand each and every time I need one. I’ve thanked God for him many, many times.
Yesterday afternoon our quartet sang for an assisted living place in Nampa, ID. This was only the 3rd time we have sung there. The first time we did, I was asked to share a portion of my story with the group. A lady came to me following that event and thanked me for sharing openly the long kept secret of my past. Yesterday I spoke of a song we sang and how the words of it were a good indication of God’s love for all of us including me which I hadn’t believed for a long time. This same lady came to me afterwards and said my story was an inspiration to her and never stop believing the message I share, for God is always working to bring folks into His Kingdom. Not so many years ago I thought my story was a sadness for those in their older years. They needed to be lifted up. Well, her comments only solidified that though my story has sadness in it, it ends with God’s Love, Mercy and Grace which does lift people. That is inspiring I’m told and I know the truth of it!
I’m about to conclude reading the Old Testament during my devotional time. The bible I’m using presently is one I was given 30+ years ago. I haven’t been using it for a number of years but chose it this time around. So, today I read the small book of Haggai. As I opened to it I had written a note which said, “Today we start on our house.” It was dated 10/27/97. The note went on to say, “I need to stay focused on what is most important.” I’m sure I wrote that due to what Haggai was telling the people who had returned to rebuild the temple. It had been in ruins for 70 years. When they had returned to Jerusalem, they were rebuilding their own homes rather than God’s home. So Haggai was giving them the reminder as to what was most important.
I’m sure 27 years ago that was a truly important message for me. Today, it was equally as important. It is so easy to tell God, “I’ll get to that tomorrow,” I want to focus today on whatever is on my mind or maybe more so, on my emotions. Just taking a small step back and seeing what I look like when I choose selfishness makes me ashamed. What’s always startling to me is that when I choose God’s nudges first, I still have time to get the little things done I want or I find they just weren’t important anyway.
Learning to obey God 24/7 is a day to day process I never want to walk away from. He is so worth obeying!
Two years ago I had just begun our counseling ministry at our church. I was approached by a gentleman who wanted to come for counsel helping him to build a meaningful relationship with his son-in-law who was also employed by him. It was only a few days later that I received a phone call from him only to hear him ask if his daughter could come and see me instead of him? The following week the daughter and I met. It had come out that her husband was having an affair with her best friend. Over time both couples divorced.
Fast forward two years. Today this young lady is getting married and we are invited to the wedding. When she and her husband-to-be began to date she returned for counseling and I also met with her and her new beau. They had known one another for years and now they were in love.
My heart rejoices as I think about this day and their union. Both are very committed christians and have chosen to honor God with their dating experience. I’m grateful for this chance to join their family and friends in this time later today. God is so good. In spite of troubled times, when we choose HIs path rather than our selfish ones, He will bring great JOY into our lives. God did this for me 43 years ago and now I get to witness HIm doing it again all these years later!
Last night was the closing night for the 16th year of our Celebrate Recovery ministry. The lesson was lesson 25 which is the Seven Reasons We Get Stuck. It was incredible to hear this lesson once again and reflect on each area. As I did I could easily see in my own past 16 years where I have been stuck in each and all of the areas. As one takes a look at this, one can then see where we need to spend some additional time as the new year of CR begins next Thursday night.
The 2nd area of the lesson is: “You have not completely surrendered your life and your will to the Lord.” It is easy to say I’ve surrendered my life to Jesus. I did that many years ago. I have learned however, that surrendering one’s will to Jesus is a daily, if not often during the day, item. It is so easy to begin one’s day fully surrendered and within the next hour or two your are deeply into your own will. Only you know if this action has replaced God’s Will with your own. For me I know when I’m doing something I want while I set aside something I know I should be doing for God. This is always in line with the nudges I get and I’m sure each one of us get.
These lessons are good reminders for staying focused. Our flesh never leaves us, so our focus on a daily surrender of our will needs to be done. It is right at the top of my list and for good reason!
Yesterday was a grueling day. The day started with a zoom session early in the morning then face to face sessions from 1:00 pm until 8:30 last night. Normally this isn’t an issue for me, but yesterday had two different sessions that truly got to my heart. One of them is a young man who is lost in his walk with God. For three years he was finding great victory serving Jesus as he thought was right. The carpet got pulled out from under him in each case and now he is so lost. He knows what the Word of God says, but somehow it doesn’t apply to him (in his mind/emotions). The other case is a marriage that is struggling intensely. I had met with the wife for three sessions and yesterday they both came. We seemed to make a little headway, but the tears and depth of hurt expressed reminded me SO MUCH of my first marriage ending.
In each of these cases I know very well that God is at work with them and I fully trust this. Both of them reminded me so much of my earlier life hurts. God has brought about tremendous healing for me from those times, but how it aches to see/witness someone else’s pain as they experience the cruelty of living life in this sinful world of ours.
Learning to let God be in complete control of one’s life takes a lifetime. We may think we are serving God well as we choose how this is done. However, God waits for us to finally see that He wants to make the plan we follow. And, the JOY of following His plan will finally be known. It is painful to learn this, but so worth it on the other side of the lesson.
This day will always be imprinted on the minds of those who lived through it. I well remember getting to school that morning and someone walking into the office saying we need to get the radio turned on. The tragedies just kept happening and one could hardly believe this could take place in our “land of the free”. Yet, it did. We are still known as the land of the free, but, we have learned that this land will only remain this way if God is kept in the forefront of our country’s existence. This is what concerns me the most about our fragile freedom. What our country endorses today I’m afraid saddens our God immensely.
In spite of the sadness of our “today” there can be joy in the camp. God is never not working if we, His children, are turning our lives to hear Him and respond obediently to Him. I never want to lose sight that He has a plan for each one of us, if we will only ask and then obey.
Our country may not be as focused on God our Father as it once was, but we should never let our country set the precedence for our behavior. Lets be the example for our country so it can see the beauty of obedience to our Father God!
Earnie Lewis 