Yesterday a man came to see me for the first time. He is someone I’ve known for 30+ years. He and his wife have been married over 40 years. He is seeking help because their relationship is like “roommates” as he described it. Their only togetherness is connected to their grandchildren. He wanted to know how to generate love and affection at this stage of life? He knew about love languages and he had been applying his love languages to her all their married years. She applies hers to him the same. But, their own love languages don’t speak to the other one. I asked him to bring this topic to his wife and just let her speak to it while he listens and not listen to defend, but listen to understand. Only seek clarity for what he hears.

So often in our later years of life we just settle in to the ruts of life together. This man and wife had done this, but it isn’t fulfilling emotionally and it was even affecting his spiritual life. The richness of relationships (marriage) can grow into a much deeper love and respect if we keep in mind our spouse rather than ourselves. This selfish nature of man spills into every aspect of our daily living. Staying awake to it does need reminders.

I appreciated his coming and seeking help. It reminded me that I can easily do the same for I am a “rut person” liking routine. Kathy is not and likes variety. I enjoy variety also once I get there but I need someone to remind me. Respecting differences rather than battling them is key. Satan loves to keep the battle alive while Jesus says to keep our eyes on Him and He will never lead us into battle for He has already won the battle!