As I was journaling this morning I asked Jesus what I could do for a young, discouraged man in our Celebrate Recovery group? My heart hurts for him each and every time I’m with him. He’s had several discouraging events in his life which he has not been able to work through at this point in time. Only minutes later I was looking for an item at my desk. In so doing I came across a card I was given 14 years ago by a friend. I was in the midst of my counseling/therapy at this time and deeply troubled by all I was needing to address from the hurts of my past. This card said: “In the dark of the cocoon, the butterfly finds its wings. Even now, hope is fluttering softly in some quiet corner of your life. Not long from now, it will open wide into sunlight, taking wing, touching the sky.” It was after reading this I knew what Jesus wanted me to send to this young man and I thanked Him for this message given to me in the midst of my despair.

The Grace and Mercy of Jesus just never stops revealing itself. How I love Him for this!

Almost every day I could write about something from a counseling session where God showed Himself significantly. Yesterday, however, was a day where God not only showed Himself, but this took place in every session. Wednesday is my fullest day. It goes continuously from 12 noon until 8:30 pm. The last 1.5 hours is a step study for our Celebrate Recovery men. One of the guys I counsel earlier in the day stated he would probably benefit from going through a step study again. He did this a couple of years ago but he only became more awake to what troubled him without addressing the issues. Now after this much time he is ready to seek God’s Help and overcome the issues. Well, he came back for the step study and we walked out together at the end. His statement to me was, “Well, I think this is what I’m suppose to do. This group of men I already like and I’ll really benefit from going through the study this time.”

I could write several instances of God’s presence yesterday, but what I want to celebrate is God’s tender mercy and His timing. How much He loves His kids and steps in when He knows they’re ready to take another step in HIs direction of trusting Him. It is so rewarding to get to witness this!

I had a troubling text message early this morning as I had gotten up for which I only replied, “What happened?” As I had begun my journaling my phone rang and it was the one who had sent the text. We talked regarding the issue at hand and then the call ended. As I began to continue journaling I wrote, “Jesus, how do you handle all of this? It breaks my heart. You have billions of kids all over the world.” The response I heard was amazing. I heard that inner voice simply say, “It gives me great pleasure when you or any of my kids step away from their tempting moments and honor Me instead.”

Only Jesus would bring my mind back around to what pleases Him rather than dwelling on what saddens me. He is so much more than this earthly mind of mine can comprehend. But, what I do comprehend is ample enough that I want to serve Him well. I don’t want any longer to be part of anything that breaks His Heart. Instead, I want to be what pleases Him.

Forty-two years ago at 6:00 pm tonight, Kathy and I were married. For Kathy, it was her first step into a marriage. For me, it was my attempt to do it right this second time. Little did I know what a gift God was giving me in Kathy. She is the person I could trust with what I thought was the most horrible things, and yet she never left. She saw through all of it and gave me grace just as Christ was trying to do, but I needed to see it in Kathy before I could ever see grace from Jesus. I needed help and she was the one who saw the need and encouraged me until I sought it. Not once has she ever condemned me as I had done to myself for most of my life. Just as honorable as her love and grace, is her mothering. My older two daughters have always said that Kathy is the one who taught them what a mother is suppose to be like. This is a huge compliment for all three of our daughters are great moms today due to Kathy’s modeling.

Of all the gifts I’ve received in life, Kathy tops the list. In the midst of a very troubled man’s younger years, God gave me Kathy so I could begin to know who God truly is (as modeled by Kathy) and what His characteristics are. I will forever thank God for His Gifts to me: Jesus, God’s Holy Spirit, and then Kathy!

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As I was journaling this morning I was writing to Jesus about sending a picture to my sponsor of the 7 steps I wrote about yesterday . I want him to not only be aware of these steps but to also question me about my taking each of them seriously every day. I stewed about this some just because daily telling someone of trials/temptations and how one deals with them seems too much. My pride enters this picture easily–they don’t need to know everything–I think. I know better than this, but our pride is not generated from what we know honors God. It is far more selfish.

As I asked Jesus what He wanted me to know from Him for today, His response was immediate. He let me know that in telling what temps me and how I handle them allows others to do the same. None of us are without these temptations which we don’t want to share. However, when someone opens about theirs, it is easy to join them with yours. I needed to be reminded of this. I know the truth of it, but when the time comes to tell, our prideful selfishness always takes the lead so it is good to be reminded of the greater purpose in sharing.

This today is my step of obedience. How I love the thoroughness and yet gentleness of our loving Savior and Lord–Jesus Christ!

Today is the Lord’s Day and I shall rejoice and be glad in it! Yesterday our small group of men met to do lesson two of the new curriculum addressing sexual purity. It’s actual title is Every Man a Pure Warrior. This is what God makes us as we accept His Son Jesus as our Savior and Lord. Added this this is our surrender daily to The Holy Spirit’s leading in our lives though our obedience to Him. There are 7 key elements which are: Worship, Warfare Praying, Wounds and Triggers, Amputate, Memorize Scripture, Allies, and Preach the Gospel to Yourself Daily.

Going through these 7 key steps each and every day keeps one focused and ready for following Christ’s lead in our lives through His Holy Spirit’s prompting and our obedience. I look forward to growing as we continue through all 17 lessons and working with the others who are coming.

God is just never done helping us become stronger in our living for Him. I love the fact that Worship is how all of the steps begin. Worshiping God brings out the humble fact that God is my one and only Strength as I follow the steps. How grateful I am for Him and the love, grace and mercy He bestows on each one of us. What a fortunate family of God we are!

I finished the book of Matthew this morning in my Bible reading. The last two chapters go from extreme agony to the beauty of Christ’s resurrection to His charge to the disciples to take His message to “all the world”. This is along with His promise of returning!

So many times I’ve read these passages. There are times when I read them and thought how wonderful it was for Jesus to do this for you and me. Today, in reading them, I have reflected more on the sheer agony of Jesus knowing well what He was going to experience and allowing it to take place. He knew His Father like He wants us to know Him. Christ suffered for our redemption and eternal promise. His suffering was due to our sin–not His. In our case, we suffer because of our own sin or sins done to us. Our strength is based on Faith, Trust, Hope where Christ’s strength was based on knowing well His Father. Today, my strength has grown significantly into that of knowing my Father so much better.

As I wrote yesterday about my early in life suffering, I had lots of lies I believed were true. One of those lies was my lack of value to God. God has shown me in remarkable ways how He loves me and I can know that full well as I pointed out in yesterday’s blog. I pray you know this too for your own self. Why would a Father sacrifice His Beloved Son for you and me if it were not for LOVE for us? He wouldn’t and today I know this full well!

Last night’s Celebrate Recovery lesson was DENIAL. It is lesson one as we begin the start of this year–year 17. I always enjoy hearing each lesson as it is done and amazingly, God always has something new I hear from the lesson.

It is easy to think of denial as it relates to someone thinking their drinking habit has no real effect on anyone. “I do this in private so it’s no big deal.” It can be the same for someone using drugs, porn, overeating, and the list goes on. Last night though, I began to realize denial for me was the almost 60 years I wouldn’t let myself see the huge effect my father’s verbal/physical abuse had on my belief system coupled with my brother’s sexual use of me. I had believed the lies of Satan SO LONG!

CR always says it addresses Hurts, Hang-ups and Habits. I started CR to help others and address a porn addiction, in that order. After a year I was brought to the reality of my denial of my hurt. I spent 3.5 years in therapy to address this with the weekly support of our CR ministry. In so doing I began to discover the hang-ups I had developed. The biggest one was my tainted belief about my own identity–who was this man called Earnie? Over these 17 years in CR, with the help of so many of God’s kids, I can say that most days I know and believe what Psalms 139:14 says: “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”

Moving out of denial to the lies of my hang-ups into the truth of God’s Word is one of the most humbling, yet fulfilling realities CR offers someone. I am one of those! How I thank GOD!

Wednesdays are the day when the counseling team does evenings. A few weeks ago I finished the step study group of men that went from 7-8:30 pm. I was glad to have it finish so I could come home earlier. I’m no longer an evening person by nature. (And I’m not sure that I ever have been). I often say my mind goes to bed about 8:30 and my body joins it by 10 pm.

Well, the commitment is that we counsel to 8:00 pm on Wednesday and it was time to start another men’s step study, so I committed to starting a new one which inside I wasn’t looking forward to doing. Just as God always does, He brought a couple of men who not only needed the study, they are ripe for the harvest. In doing step studies for 17 years now, I’ve never enjoyed a group of men any more than this one. They are open, communitive and ready to take whatever steps needed. Instead of dreading the time, I look forward to it.

There is nothing in this life that compares to obeying our Father. How fortunate we are that He ignores our selfish moments and helps us follow through with His leading in our lives! The outcome of following God’s lead is always a blessing!

Yesterday a man came to see me for the first time. He is someone I’ve known for 30+ years. He and his wife have been married over 40 years. He is seeking help because their relationship is like “roommates” as he described it. Their only togetherness is connected to their grandchildren. He wanted to know how to generate love and affection at this stage of life? He knew about love languages and he had been applying his love languages to her all their married years. She applies hers to him the same. But, their own love languages don’t speak to the other one. I asked him to bring this topic to his wife and just let her speak to it while he listens and not listen to defend, but listen to understand. Only seek clarity for what he hears.

So often in our later years of life we just settle in to the ruts of life together. This man and wife had done this, but it isn’t fulfilling emotionally and it was even affecting his spiritual life. The richness of relationships (marriage) can grow into a much deeper love and respect if we keep in mind our spouse rather than ourselves. This selfish nature of man spills into every aspect of our daily living. Staying awake to it does need reminders.

I appreciated his coming and seeking help. It reminded me that I can easily do the same for I am a “rut person” liking routine. Kathy is not and likes variety. I enjoy variety also once I get there but I need someone to remind me. Respecting differences rather than battling them is key. Satan loves to keep the battle alive while Jesus says to keep our eyes on Him and He will never lead us into battle for He has already won the battle!