Obedience. This word has been on my mind for years now and particularly the present. As a child I grew to dislike it immensely. When my dad would be out of control with his anger and would take it out on us with his beatings I knew I was to do what he told me, but I despised doing so. As I got into my teen years and tried to talk to my mom about dad’s ways, she would just say that I need to do what he says. And, that would be what I’d do, but deep inside me was a growing resentment.

Doing what one is suppose to do, in most cases, is not difficult because it coincides with one’s own motivation to do well in life. As I am working with more and more couples I find that so often individuals in a marriage have grown in a selfish manner of living. It usually isn’t on purpose, we just grown into a selfish pattern of what we’d call comfortable. In so doing, our mate grows increasingly uncomfortable for their desires are left unattended. What I find sad and difficult is helping a couple see their part. Yes, they will admit this, but taking action to “change” their ways (old habits which they like) is usually a point of contention. One begins to rationalize why the change isn’t really that necessary.

In our flesh we are truly a selfish being. Obedience, doing the right thing for the right reasons, shouldn’t be so tough. But, it is one of the tougher items I see. Then, when I put it in light of following Jesus and living fully for Him, I find myself often struggling with obedience. “That can wait can’t it?” “Oh Jesus, not today, please?” Things like this come up and then I have to realize my own flesh is still just as alive as it ever has been. However, stepping into disobedience is never going to profit any walk with God or any marital growth. So, daily committing to obedience is on the priority list!