This mornings devotional time brought me to a place I’ve needed to see. It was a place I’ve protected all of my life–a place no abuse could reach, no criticism could touch AND no salvation could cleanse until I was willing to have “the veil rent in two”. To be honest with you, I didn’t even know I was protecting it until I was in the midst of my journaling while I worshiped Jesus. I was surrendering myself for the day when I was enlightened to this place of my inner being. This was the place I’d go to when my dad would make me confess for something I hadn’t done, when I was criticized for not being what I needed to be or not good enough; when I’d wonder why I as a male was an attraction to another male. In this place I could be ok with being me.

This morning I was allowed to see that this protection was no longer needed. In fact, this part of me was a hindrance to God’s Work in me. I would still want to protect the selfish part of me that just wanted to do what I wanted and no one else could make me do otherwise. Jesus allowed me to see that The Holy Spirit has been waiting to take control of this inner me so I could then be totally committed/surrendered to Him and His Purposes.

This experience showed me an area of TRUST I still needed. God would never take me into a place of shame. Instead, He’s wanted me to see just how trustworthy He truly is. As I write this I rejoice in this truth and confidence. God is WORTHY of our TRUST!