There was a young man in our Celebrate Recovery group who gave his testimony last night. He had shared it with me a week ago and had gone from our meeting to his home inviting his father to come. He made two trips to their home over the week to encourage dad’s attendance. Well, dad didn’t come. This young man’s mom had a stroke several years ago and cannot be left on her own for any period of time. Dad made this his priority over attending. There are a number of things which could have taken place allowing dad to come, yet he chose to stay home. This young man’s heart was broken as we met in small group following his delivery.
My heart aches for him and his dad. Someday his dad will see these wounds he is leaving behind. Of course I understand his reasoning for in many cases he is justified. Yet, if he could see his son’s tears of disappointment, he would rethink. This morning I simply prayed for this young man, his dad and this young man’s brother who also attends our CR. There’s a restoration of family that is yet to heal itself and I pray this will be soon. God is all about loving, healthy, supportive families. To Him be all glory!!
Last night I got to experience just what I’d written about yesterday. The last session of last night is our weekly step study group. We are prepping for each one’s inventory where they are to acknowledge where they have been hurt and the damage done to them. Along with this, one must acknowledge the hurt they have done to others and the specifics of it. One of the questions we address is what damage done to you or you’ve done to others is in denial? Later, the question comes out about damage done to others. One gentleman said to this question of his damage to others, “It is painful going there though I know I must”. We then talked about the ugly memories he must face and how he has kept them in denial so he wouldn’t experience the pain of doing so. As I shared my journey in this arena, he said, “I want to know this freedom”.
What a privilege it is to be at this place in my life where secrets are no longer secrets. Instead, they are tools of God’s Grace and Love shedding Light into another’s darkness. The darkness is dispelled and the Light gives Hope where there has never been hope. I believed for way too long that I had to keep my past in secret in order for me to have any hope of a “successful” life. Little did I know during all those years how much God wanted to give me a freedom I had no idea about. Today though, I just want to glorify Him for the chance to be a messenger of His Light!
There is so much to continually praise God about. Stepping into praise of God disallows the concerns in one’s life to dominate one’s mind and emotions. It doesn’t remove the concerns, it just puts them into a category of release. I can trust God to do what He does and I’m not suppose to, and for me to see what part, if there is any.. Spending time each morning in true worship of God our Father awakens my spirit to His Holy Spirit. How I love this impact and clarity.
I have always wanted to serve God with my life. I’ve written so many times how this service would hopefully provide a love from God that would take away the images, the memories, the abuse and bitterness of my past. I thought that removing them would be the only way to obliterate the ongoing confusion in my mind, part of which was scriptures that said God loves us (me). Instead of honoring my prayers, God chose to realign them into trusting Him to use all of these memories as tools. Only God’s miraculous ways could ever turn torment into a tool of Light helping others believe their own torment can be healed and used by God.
My greatest healing is not the removal of these memories, it is the removal of the bitterness and replacing it with the desire to share them as needed for someone else caught in the devil’s trap believing God doesn’t care for you. For, God cares immensely! One just needs to allow Him entrance into the darkness of our soul where all of this bitterness is held and holding oneself captive.
Today a remarkable step is being taken. Someone I’ve known a good deal of my life is coming for help. He has been someone who has helped me on my own journey. Today, I get to be a helper for him with a difficulty he recently told me about. When he was a messenger of Light for me at some very difficult times in my life, I now pray I can be a messenger of Light for him. God has a way of doing this and I feel honored to return a favor.
I know I keep bringing up The Holy Spirit in my daily writing of late. It is incredible to me how much I’ve missed throughout my life about this loving, powerful Gift Jesus Christ gave to me–to each of us as we have asked HIm into our heart and lives. Throughout the New Testament, The Holy Spirit is spoken about/referenced. I’ve always read these references as something nice, but very mysterious. Today, I finally find what has been so mysterious taking root in me. The fact that The Holy Spirit is mysterious is simply because I’m flesh with limited capacity for understanding Spirit. God Himself is mysterious. Jesus Christ today is mysterious, yet because God sent HIm to earth to live for us in flesh and die for us in flesh, do we better understand Him.
I feel as though a cloud has been lifted from me. Instead of confusion, I am finding a contentment of Trust replacing it. I am beginning to rejoice in what I don’t know and thanking Christ for what I am now finding. I don’t need to understand so much as I have needed to TRUST what I couldn’t understand. God is worthy to be Praised and I join the ones who have been Praising Him already!
I don’t know about you, the reader, but I have to admit my human weaknesses far more often than I wish were true. This morning as I was having my devotions I was reminded by Jesus that it is one thing to confess my weaknesses, but along with confession I must make a plan to address them. Then I was reminded that “faith without works is dead” (James 2:17). If I have faith that I can overcome my weaknesses but I don’t put effort into it, I am simply stuck with the weakness/es.
I attempt to give thoughtful advice to those who come for counsel. And, every once in a while, I am reminded that what I had just said, God wants me to put into my own practice. I then have to tell the one sitting across from me that “we can work on this together”.
As I have added worship music to my devotional time I am finding a renewed effort to confront flesh with Spirit. As my spirit awakens through worship it is accompanied with a passion beyond myself that I know is God’s Holy Spirit. He is the very One who will fight this battle, weakness, for me as I release my struggle to Him through my worship of Him. Worship is far more than singing a favorite chorus or hymn. It likely starts there, but God’s Spirit speaks to us in these times if we allow ourselves to listen. I am a newbie at this, but I want to continue growing for God’s Holy Spirit to be in full control of my everyday life.
Yesterday I wrote about the devotional I’d read, The Path Out. As I was midstream with the small group of men yesterday morning, it was fitting to bring into the conversation the devotional message. I’d taken a picture of it and then printed it so I could have a copy at the counseling room. After sharing the message of it and briefly discussing the message with the guys, one said, “I just love the closing statement, ‘Follow Jesus out of the valley'”. He went on to say that it was powerful to be reminded that Jesus is in the valley with you–you are not alone as Satan wants to feed our minds. That lie is so easy to believe when one is hurting, struggling, confused….
This morning I rejoice once again in the goodness of God our Father. He is so loving and thoroughly rich in Grace as He patiently works with us to find more and more fullness of Him in our lives no matter the difficulties we have faced, do face or will face. The assurance of His Son Jesus and The wonderful Holy Spirit accompanying us in all things just makes me want to rejoice!
“THE PATH OUT” This was the title of my devotional this morning. I could hardly believe that this was the title as I saw it. I had just finished journaling about some serious issues folks were facing in the sessions of late. I know that Jesus is always the answer for the issues at hand, but it seemed to be difficult beyond what man could expect. Then, I read this title. The verse used is Psalm 23:4–“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for You are with me.”
A quote from the body of the devotion’s message is, “God makes many wonderful promises throughout scripture, but in none of them does He guarantee life will be easy. What He does say, however is if you will “in all your ways acknowledge Him…He will make your paths straight” Proverbs 3:6.
I just sit here and smile as I write this message today. The timeliness of God is always perfect. The end of the message today is, “The choice is yours, follow Jesus out of the valley.” Helping folks trust while in their deepest sorrow is exactly what I was needing to hear today. Jesus will make their paths straight if they will not lose their trust in HIm.
I’m always amazed at the effect of winter on folks. The shortened daylight, the gloomy weather and the cold get to folks in a sad, negative way. We have had a large number of foggy days for this time of year and I know this adds to the depressed state. I don’t care for winter myself, but I know the importance of winter for the sake of my garden and yard. As long as I have plenty of gardening catalogs coming in the mail, I remain content!
Last night’s lesson in Celebrate Recovery was Sponsor. The lesson emphasizes the critical importance of this role in one’s life when dealing with anything we want to overcome. One attendee stated in share group following the lesson that none of this has worked for him even though he’s tried. I know this young man quite well and it saddens me when I hear him speak such a message. When he introduces himself, one of his struggles stated is pride. As I journaled this morning I was asking Jesus if there is anything I could do for this man beyond what is taking place? I was brought back to reality when I heard his message reminding me how pride has interfered with my own recovery.
Pride kept me in secret most of my life. I could feel good that I was honest, but I was honest only with what portion of my story I’d tell. The rest of my struggle was kept in secret. It was too humiliating to tell THAT part. An amazing thing about Jesus is His patience. He just waits until we finally get to the point that, “OK, I’ll admit that too.” God is never done working with us and I love this about Him!
What in the world would we do without Jesus? As I’ve listened to the worship music this morning while having my devotional time, I’ve needed to just stop and let the spirit of worship sink into the depth of my being. Jesus–there is just nothing like him except God Himself and The Holy Spirit. The one exception is that He came into our world just like you and me and He did it all just for you and me. There just isn’t any greater example of love than this!
Helping others find Jesus in the midst of their strife is a commitment I’ve made in stepping into this counseling world. However, I’m also finding that keeping Jesus in the center of my own self is a critical element. How can one help others if Jesus isn’t the center of oneself? Starting the day with worship music playing in the background of my devotional time has been a game changer for me. If you haven’t listened to “I Speak Jesus” then please dial it up on YouTube and let it minister to you. It speaks loudly the entire purpose of living out the life of a christian in the name of Jesus! “I just want to speak the name of Jesus!”
HAPPY NEW YEAR! Welcome to the year of 2025. As light is just beginning to show the out of doors, I see the ground is covered with snow. We didn’t have a white Christmas, but we are having a white New Years. The rain and snow are blessed gifts to our area. We need it all each year to fill our reservoirs for the coming year of irrigation.
I was asked during the time our kids and grandkids were here, what I’d want sung and said at my funeral? I told them I wanted that service to be put together with things they wanted. I’d be dead and I’ve always wondered why people don’t put together a service that makes them feel better. As I have pondered this since being asked I’m realizing that a last remembrance is the purpose for the funeral. I’ve never liked the focus being on me for fear the ugliness of my life would be brought out and that’s what people would remember.
Getting to use the ugliness of a past as a tool in God’s toolbox to help others makes one’s past a Light, is nothing less than a miracle. Yesterday I met with a young man who had asked for counsel. I didn’t know him, but I know his wife rather well and all of his wife’s family. As he told me why he was seeking counsel I couldn’t help but identify with it. When he was mid-stream in telling me his story, he asked what the counseling sessions would do for him? I then said I’d like to give him some background on the person he is talking to once he’d finished giving me his background. When he was done I gave him a piece of my own story and what God has done for me. I concluded that this is what God wants to do with his past during the counseling sessions. He smiled big and said that he was really glad to be here.
When my time comes I want my service to glorify the God who brings such incredible healing and purpose to one’s life no matter what story it has attached to it. This is what I want people to remember as they leave my funeral service one day. Our God is faithful to the end!
Earnie Lewis 