Well, the raspberries are pruned and tomorrow I will have another wonderful day pruning the blackberries. They take longer so one day won’t be enough. That is a blessing unto itself in that I have more to do outside keeping me “in the gardens of inspiration”. Besides all of this, tomorrow is March 1st and I’ve always called this day the first day of Spring. At this point in every winter I’m too ready for Spring so I just start my own on the 1st rather than the 21st.

As I journaled this morning I was writing to Jesus about yesterday’s topic: thorn in the flesh. Jesus brought to mind that the thorn is in the “flesh”. We naturally fight any of our battles first and foremost from our own flesh trying to be more disciplined, more structured, more boundaries, etc. As I was writing all of this Jesus reminded me that His Gift to us is The Holy SPIRIT. He said our battleground is flesh, but the Warrior He provides us is SPIRIT for the battle must be fought in Spirit or we will lose for Satan himself is spirit and our flesh cannot win over spirit.

I have become critically aware of this confusion I’ve lived with all of my life. Our tools God provides us when we ask Jesus into our lives are tools of the Spirit. Things like Faith, Trust, Belief. God gives us things to do in our flesh but they aren’t tools to fight with. They are tools like: surrender, confess, pray, worship, be humble, sing. I write this and wonder why I’ve battled so long?? It just goes to show that our spiritual eyes keep getting more open the longer we live and allow Jesus to be our TEACHER.

Today is it! The weather is chilly and clear. The sun will soon be up and I can prune raspberries. When that is done I can move onto the blackberries and prune them. All of this is the beginning blessings of Spring!

Earlier this week one of the guys in our sexual purity groups asked if I felt the lingering effects of my own sexual abuse was my thorn in the flesh as Paul states about his own thorn? I told him I had definitely believed this to be true for me. I had even asked one of my pastors in times past if this could be so? His response was negative stating Paul’s thorn was of his flesh so likely if I had a thorn it wouldn’t be of this nature. All I know is that Paul’s thorn was a horrible torment for him or he wouldn’t have described it as he did. My own torment has been just as he describes so I have believed it. Also, this thorn has been something that keeps me very dependent on Christ Jesus’ mercy and grace. Thus, I’d say again, this is definitely a/my thorn.

A thorn can bring bitterness if one wants to go that direction with it. I did for many years. Yet, humbling myself to become vulnerable and share this thorn, God has made this thorn a tool in His Hands. It is always incredible what God does when we take the step of humility giving Him all rights to our lives. On top of this, He turns what was bitterness into thankful gratitude. Only our God can perform such miracles!

The beauty of Spring is beginning and I can hardly stand sitting inside my den as the sunlight starts to illuminate the day. Yes, the temperatures are still winter, but the sense of Spring is erupting within me. My own spirit wants to tell everyone coming for the next two months that God will take care of them. Right now I must be in my yard and garden preparing all of it for its forthcoming beauty! OK, now I’ve written this and I’ll return to today.

Yesterday I finished reading through the NIV bible I’ve been using of late. Today I knew I’d need to begin and I was pondering which version I would read this time. I kept sensing that The Living Bible was where I should go this time. When I graduated from college in 1972 I was given this bible from an older brother and his wife. As I took it from its bookshelf and began in Genesis 1, I had this assurance that this was the right choice.

When I wrote yesterday that I am a new creation, I just have to say that reading God’s Word–the Bible–as a new creation, is remarkable how alive the Word is when I am alive and awake in Christ. It brings a closeness and intimacy with God that creates a confidence in TRUSTING HIM. Once again I write how remarkable our God is!

The devotional message I ended yesterday’s entry was going to be used this morning with the small group of men I’m meeting with. I had copied it yesterday and taken it to the counseling room for this morning. But, as God always does, He had in mind for me to have it there for yesterday’s use.

One lady I meet with was quite troubled with some present circumstances. She needed to address them with her boss, but presenting the problem to the boss seemed pointless since this problem had been “worked through” before and now it was repeating itself and employees were losing their faith/confidence in the system. We talked through the differences in a conversation of flesh motivation and then one with God’s Spirit motivation. The ending message of yesterday’s devotion was just what she was wishing to find, Peace, Satisfaction and a Sense of fulfillment. She was then ready to have the needed conversation with God’s Holy Spirit equipping her as she surrendered her flesh speech.

God is SO FAITHFUL. Yet, when I am to practice faith in my everyday living I find myself wanting to question Him. Continuing to trust God and to respond to this trust only builds the confidence to always respond to God’s nudges in Spirit for HE TRULY IS FAITHFUL. The results of this are our PEACE, SATISTACTION & THE SENSE OF FULFILLMENT.

As I began to move from finding freedom in my journey to living in freedom, there has been an unexpected awakening. This awakening has been that I no longer need to “try to earn” God’s favor. I already have it. I now want to live for Jesus because of His Love, Mercy and Grace. The relationship we can have with Jesus gives us a longing to have Him with us at every moment in our daily living. Having this awakening that I don’t have to earn anything for having accepted Christ into my life has given me all I thought I must earn and this gift from Christ has been so, so much more.

Last night the two men who are attending their first step study with me for our Celebrate Recovery ministry, gave their inventories. One of them is now 9 months sober from his alcoholism and the other is almost a year sober from his sexual addiction. Not only did they give their inventory, but they added a piece we encourage all attenders to do–that is to begin a positive inventory for themselves. It took me years to do this for I had so many roadblocks in my belief system about anything positive for myself. However, these two men were able to give remarkable positive comments due to Christ’s work in their lives. I tear up now thanking Jesus for this for them. The humble thanks they have for Christ’s work in their lives is genuine.

How wonderful our Savior and Lord Jesus is!

I wrote yesterday about the goodness of God, His love, mercy and grace which is so easily available for you and me and all of mankind. It is so easily found too, just accepting His Son Jesus as one’s Savior and Lord. It is as simple as this. We struggle so much as adults when we face a decision like this. We wonder what we will have to quit, give up, tell about ourselves, and more. Well, what is amazing is that I’ve found it just doesn’t matter. God’s goodness, love and mercy are abundant. When we accept Christ as our Savior and Lord, committing our lives to Him, living by faith and trust, He will provide for all of our needs.

As I write this I need to say that my full commitment to Christ didn’t occur all at once. I have always wanted to serve God even as a jr hi and high school student. As I got through college and began my education career I “knew” I had to limit my commitment. If God prompted me to use my story to help someone I’d not go there for fear of the community thinking I’d abuse as I had been abused. Satan played on this lie and i believed it. When I retired from the district I had worked with for 35 years, I began to tell my full story and also that’s when I had the years of therapy/counsel to overcome the many lies I had believed true.

I find it important to let any reader know that you don’t need to repeat my actions. You CAN FULLY TRUST GOD from the beginning of accepting His Son Jesus into your life. GOD IS SO FAITHFUL, LOVING, MERCIFUL AND FULL OF GRACE! You can TRUST HIM!