As I log into this site each morning I go past the previous day’s entry in order to open the page for today. In so doing I reread what I’d written yesterday. When I just minutes ago did this I stopped and just got teary. In-between our services yesterday morning I was searching for someone I needed to give a message. While doing this a man I know from our Celebrate Recovery called my name and gave me an Armor of God coin. He said to keep it as a reminder of it always being with me. He has heard my story and even had a couple of counseling sessions a year ago addressing some questions he had about his relationship with God.

As I reread yesterday’s entry I wondered if he’d read it before coming to church and gave this coin in response to it? I don’t know at this point, but what I do know is that God cares so much about what is important to me and to each of us! This Wednesday I’m giving my story to a group of people at a church in Boise, ID. When I’m doing this for a CR group I know the participants “understand”. I always feel a little more raw when I’m doing this for a “normal” group. Yet, I’ve learned that what I use to call “normal” people are simply those who haven’t opened up to their own hurts letting them be known. I hear this message privately from ones each time I do this.

I’ll be carrying this coin with me Wednesday with the reminder that God’s protection will guard off all that Satan wants to destroy or harm. I am no longer a victim of this past I share. It is God’s tool now!

Holy, Holy, Holy are You Lord! As I begin to write today’s entry this worship song is playing in the background and I just can’t help but worship this wonderful, loving God we get to serve!

Every spring I have the same prep work to get done in my yard so the gardens and all of the flower beds are ready to do their maximum work creating the beauty God intended them to produce. When a week like this one takes place and there is wind each time I need to prep without wind, I have this sense of “yikes, I’ve got to get this done”! Each year I get it done and I will again this year. My flesh always seems to repeat its behavior and I need to relearn what surrender of this is like. Sounds silly, but it’s true. Our flesh will always dominate us if we don’t recognize its frailty. Amazingly, once I’ve surrendered it and simply thank God for all the blessings of garden and yard, I get it done. It is then that I wonder why I ever let this sense of panic start in the first place?

In all of life these choices are before us. The earlier we learn to surrender and trust, the sooner we find that peace that passeth all understanding. God always provides that way of escape as He promises in I Corinthians 10:13. How GOOD OUR GOD IS!

One cannot live in this world of ours without seeing and experiencing the pain of it. Living in a bubble oneself has built will shield you from seeing and feeling the pain of it for a period of time. I lived in that bubble for a good number of years. Yes, I’d have the painful times I lived through but in order to survive and look happy I’d find my way back into that bubble. Not living in it any longer I hear and feel the pain of what I hear and see. I also know that God is in it for them as I eventually found He was in my own.

These painful times we all have teach us a good deal about ourselves and about this wonderful God who created us and wants us to live for Him. Patience is an important ingredient during these learning times. I find myself needing reminders for my own patience. I want to hurry God along so these ones I work with don’t have to struggle sooooo long. I know there is LIGHT for them which not only allows them to see a future ahead and the reminder of healing for present hurts.

As I write this, one of those I’ve prayed for has called to talk through this hurt for himself. TRUST and FAITH are such key ingredients coupled with PATIENCE.

I wrote on Tuesday of this week about Monday’s wind and my journaling to God about how much I didn’t like it. He turned my complaining into a compliment saying I did well going ahead and working through it when it wasn’t enjoyable like I had wanted the day to be. Well, today was going to be the day I could complete what I couldn’t Monday. Guess what–the winds is blowing just as hard now as the light begins to show. When I checked the weather app I saw there is a wind advisory for today. This time I smile. I’ll just told myself that I’ll get as much done as I can knowing the weather will cooperate “at some point”. God does have a sense of humor!

There is something so extra special about Jesus. Even when He was living in flesh He didn’t sin. When He was tested so severely, He didn’t sin. When He was being crucified for each of our sins, He didn’t sin. Instead, He asked God to forgive us for they didn’t know what they were doing. Good grief, how could He be so faithfully committed? He chose.

As I was journaling about this earlier I was enlightened to a truth I hadn’t really thought much about. I’ve most often thought about the fact that we have choice to be connected to the wrongs/sins in our lives. We can choose to walk away from the temptations/flee, we can surrender them to Jesus, call someone and confess it, etc. Today my devotional message was that we can also choose to let God use our past torments for His Glory. We can choose to be a messenger of God by stepping into what He prompts us to do or we can do as I’ve so often done in my past, say that it’s just not me.

The truth is, it isn’t me. The other truth is that it is me if I am fully surrendered to God’s will doing what He prompts knowing it will be Him in me that completes this. Then, it is God working through me rather than me thinking I’m having to do this all on my own. All of this is another great use of “choice”. I don’t want to just choose to step away from sin, I also want to step into obedience to do all God wants of me.

Lets choose to be committed to all God asks. God is SO AMAZING!

Yesterday was not a pleasant day for finishing the blackberry patch. The wind was blowing hard. I knew I’d not be able to haul the cuttings to the dump with that much wind. Instead I started on a big flower bed that needed to be cut back. Sounds dumb as I write this, but I told God this morning it wasn’t fun being in His nature yesterday. He instantly reminded me that life isn’t always fun and enjoyable. He was proud of me that I stayed the course and got the work done anyway. Isn’t it like a good Father to make you feel better even when you’re complaining!

I’m going to try and put this practice into my parenting as my kids and grandkids have something they aren’t happy about. I can be proud of them for facing whatever it is rather than stuffing it or running from it. God is AMAZING in all ways!

The prayer time I mentioned yesterday for the two young girls was most special. Dad held the 6 year old as he sat on a couch and the 3 (not 4) year old was held by her teacher. As we prayed it was tearful and so Spirit anointed. God is so precious and loving!

How marvelous it is to get to be a part of our God’s work. God doesn’t see through the lens of my past but through the infinite work of His Son Jesus. In addition to all of this, we also get the precious Gift of His Holy Spirit. Wow! How fortunate each one of us is who has asked Jesus into our lives!

This morning as I was dressing myself spiritually with God’s Armor I found myself realizing a new use for the Sword of the Spirit. I had always pictured in my mind using this sword to ward off any and all of evil’s minions. This morning for the first time I saw myself using this sword to cut out the selfish desires that want to enter my mind. I can use this sword to do spiritual surgery cutting away what wants to be selfish. God is Amazing!

This morning following our second worship time a father who is facing a divorce is having a prayer time for his two young daughters. He has been coming for counsel for many months now. He asked if I’d set this up with our children’s pastor and their Sunday School teachers. He wants his daughters to know that in their young lives they have many who are with them, praying for them and loving them. My own two daughters from my first marriage were only 2 & 4 when my wife at the time left me. This agony at that time so long ago never leaves one’s mind and emotions. I was glad to take this step for them.

God’s tender, loving mercy is like none other. May these two young girls who are 4 & 6 know and believe their God is always with them and they are surrounded by His Spirit and a host of people who will always be praying for them and loving on them.

Today I simply want to praise God and thank Him for HIs abundant blessings. As I met for the first time with a younger couple yesterday, I found myself listening to a couple telling Kathy and my story. I’ve know this couple since they married about 20 years ago. Now they have some difficulties with children and parenting and they needed some counsel. Listening to them describe their struggles I heard in my head what I’d heard my counselor tell Kathy and me many years ago. This was, “Kathy, would you be ok if I met for a period of time only with Earnie? There’s some issues I would like to address with him I believe are effecting the reasons you struggle in your marriage.” As I said this to them using their own names, the wife instantly said, “yes”. The husband just hung his head and said, “I know I need this.” We will start next week.

My “period of time” meeting with my counselor took 3.5 years. When that was done Kathy and I have never needed to go back. I no longer was processing our difficulties with a huge number of character defects I’d developed. How loving and genuinely kind our God is providing the help needed when we are willing to take the step of receiving it. Isn’t our GOD WONDERFUL!